When Good Things Happen
On July 3 I flew off to Italy for my MFA residency and a much needed vacation. One of the lectures I attended while there was by my MFA mentor, Mary Yukari Waters. She spoke about "The Deceptively Simple Question" and challenged us as writers to steer from the obvious to keep our writing fresh and unexpected. The writers who give the readers what they expect are not the ones who will stand out.
I thought about that lecture a lot over the weekend. If one writer were to write about my experience in Italy, they might list the obvious facts. My car broke down on my house sitter while I was away. A centuries-old villa set off my asthma so I was on Prednisone a lot of the trip. I dropped a glass on my foot. I was stung by a bee – twice. I fell on the cobblestones in Rome, bruising my left knee. I tripped on a curb in Florence, deeply bruising my right knee, which caused me to limp the rest of my trip (and still hurts). And a couple days before we left, I got news that my father had passed away.
When you see the facts laid out that way, a reader would conclude that nothing good came of that trip. Even though it was difficult, I've forced myself to look beyond the simple answer, to be the writer and the PERSON, who digs deeper. Here's what I found.
A hundred comforting hugs from new friends who found out what I was going through so far away from home. Two friends who held me in a foreign kitchen when I received news my father had signed a DNR. A roommate and new dear friend who stayed with me when I received news he'd passed before I could say goodbye. A travel agent who did everything in her power to get me to the funeral. Dear, dear classmates who made it their mission to make me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry. A sister who centered me and gave me strength. A brother who walked through some difficult days with me and held my hand at the funeral. Siblings and cousins and an aunt I'd scarcely met who made me laugh and told me stories about my dad. Stepsisters and a stepmother who invited me to share in their grief and be part of their family. Coworkers and colleagues who made sure I could be away without worry. And so many messages of love from friends everywhere, including some very personal messages from those who have lost their own fathers.
By my admittedly bad math, I received a thousand blessings when I look beyond the obvious.
Now I have a favor to ask. I would love it if you would all share something good someone has done for you during a difficult time in your life. It can be anonymous. I just want to read something good for the soul. Think of it as a way to give back to the person who gave to you in your time of need. Has something good come of a bad time in your life? Do you just want to thank someone who was there for you? Do it. Seriously. Life is too short to leave things unsaid.
