Remembering Heidi
There are moments in life when an emotion hits you like a physical punch. It's usually unexpected, winding you in its ferocity and forcing you to gasp for breath. Fortunately, those moments are also relatively rare, making their impact that much stronger and lasting.
Two years ago I experienced that kind of gut wrenching moment. I know exactly where I was – standing in an open field, outside a lacrosse game, watching my boys rest between Logan's games. It was a tournament weekend, Logan's first tournament, and the kids were having the time of their lives.
What a strange juxtaposition of emotion. On one hand I was watching my oldest son discover the exhilaration of competition. On the other hand I was waiting for a phone call with news that could only be awful. And although I expected that call at any moment, when it came I didn't want to answer. I knew what the voice was going to say, I already knew what had happened. I wanted to wait, to stall, to avoid the unconscious knowing becoming a reality to be dealt with.
I wanted this moment of safety, this moment of happiness, to be forever.
