An alternative look at golf

​Golf a new sport to try

Learn some new skills to satisfy

Learn to hit  a ball with a club

How difficult can it be, unless I hit the scrub

Stand relaxed and swing from the hips

Practice the move, heck have to be a contortionist 

Ready to try, they said go to tee

 Not the drink I expected, but a plastic dinkie

Now I am worried, is golf really kinky

Is this t motorised and kind of pinky?

I take up my stance and swing at the ball

Manage to hit it no trouble at all

Just heard a comment that’s got up my nose

I know I am no vision in these odd clothes

But to mention my flanks is beyond the pale

They tried to change it to shanks, hah a likely tale

Some talk of an iron

Is it forefits to frighten?

If they bring out their smalls 

They can keep their balls

Ah, now somebody just got a birdy

Thats really too much

Killing helpless creatures, thats so out of touch

I think all this perversion

Is too much for me, is there another version

It seems there maybe, maybe I just need a strong cup of tea

With apologies to golfers my try at highlighting some of the golf venacular!