Cat Observations #11: Missing Objects

In 2009 Mrs B and I adopted two brothers, Razz and Kain, from the RSPCA. It was my first experience of cat ownership having grown up either with a dog or goldfish in the house, the latter in a tank, of course, and not just in some innocuous location like the sofa or kitchen table. Since Razz and Kain joined the family we have also adopted two kittens, Buggles and Charlie, and two Norwegian Forest cats, Bilbo and Frodo, so you could say it's quite full in our household now. Though Mrs B knew what to expect, having previously owned both dogs and cats, it has been a steep learning curve for me and my lessons are still not over. In this blog I want to share some of the weird and wonderful antics I have discovered in the feline world, which is much different to the kingdom of dogs where obedience is paramount. A cat's motto seems to be, "I do what I please, so deal with it, you moron."

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Charlie & Buggles discuss what to steal from Mrs B's bag!

Missing Objects

Being the owner of six cats you're going to encounter some ill-discipline and the odd moment of calamity and our house is no exception. Scratching furniture, trying to pilfer our meals, playing with pens and being off target using the litter trays are just some of the problems myself and Mrs B have to contend with. However, perhaps the worst form of bad behaviour comes in the form of missing objects.

You know that mystery about the Bermuda Triangle? You know the one, all those planes and ships going missing and prompting the theorists to suggest aliens, alternative universes and the uncompromising waters of the Sargasso Sea! Well, I'd like to suggest that cats might have something to do with it as well. Now, I'm not accusing our six cats of being responsible but given what they are capable of in this house it wouldn't surprise me. The Mary Celeste was probably their doing as well!

Picture the scene. A small table between two chairs in our living room where we rest our cups of tea or wine and also pile on objects such as keys, books, pens, disks and even an MP3 (more on that mistake later). When Mrs B and I are around you can guarantee that all objects will be accounted for but if we've let the room for any amount of time then something will have gone missing. Only today I found a print cartridge had moved from its place on top of the printer to the other side of the living room!

Mrs B's hair bands are very popular with the cats but at least we find those in the end. The worst crime these cats have committed is with MP3 players. I kid you not, I have lost not one but two of the damn things to these cats. They must be somewhere in the house, unless the cats are sneaking out and selling them on the black market, but that digression aside I have so far been unsuccessful in unearthing them. It's quite possible the cats are hoarding the missing items in some secret, subterranean chamber and building a time machine or something but where their operation is taking place I guess I'll never know.

Recently Mrs B and I have started to de-clutter in the house, selling on DVDs and stuff to free up more space so hopefully in the near future the cats will have far less targets to pilfer. On the other hand one of these days Mrs B and I will awake to find all our keys have been confiscated and there will be no escape from this house which is very much the cats' pad. All I can do is pray for their mercy. Let's hope this isn't my last blog about them!