ATMs, Voice Mail Labyrinths and Online Anonymity

Hmmm, how far off is the day when we will have to go out of our way to find a living, breathing person to speak with?

This question percolated to the surface of my thoughts today as I was navigating through one of those labyrinthine corporate voice mail systems. You know the drill. One menu after another taking you deeper and deeper into the fearsome bowels of the beast until you wonder if you'll ever find your way out.

In the beginning, these systems were designed to give you quick answers to common questions so you didn't have to hang on the line waiting for an operator. But now they seem expressly designed to block you from ever speaking to a real person.

I fully expect one day to hear the irritatingly pleasant recorded voice say: "No one is available to take your call. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Please choose from the menu options, visit our website or simply go to hell. Thank you for calling. BEEP!!!"

Everywhere I go I find barricades to human interaction. Banks do not want you to come inside the building. Everything short of robbing the bank can be done at the ATM. Or, better yet, do it online. Give us your money and then go away. Far away. Someplace we can't see or hear you. That's the message I get.

For years we've had to pump or own gas. Now they have ATM functionality right in the pumps. I refuse to go that route. If I have to pay an arm and a leg (and three fingers) to fill up my tank, somebody is bloody well going to take the ten seconds it takes to process my payment. But I'm sure the day will come when there is no attendant.

No more attendants at provincial parks and conservation areas either. You'd better have a functioning credit card to shove into the machine or you won't get in. By all means, commune with nature and all its wonderful creatures. But please don't disturb the staff. They have better things to do.

Self-serve. Do it yourself. Insert card here. Choose from the following menu options. All our customer service representatives are busy. (All one of them) Use our website shopping cart program. Complete the online form. Leave a message at the beep.

I can see the day coming in the not too distant future where you will be able to go through an entire week without ever conversing with a real person. It all seems rather dehumanizing to me.

Call it the ATM metaphor. Fast, streamlined, ultra efficient, no human intervention required. That seems to be the road we're headed down. I'm worried about what lies at the end of that road. It's easy to lie, cheat, steal or defraud your neighbour when you never ever have to look him the eye.

Technology is supposed to make our lives better. But we're fast becoming slaves to it. Maybe it's time for a sober second look… before the ATM becomes our best, and perhaps only, friend.

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of "Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel" – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael's website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog.

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