A Writer's Advice to Agents

The Internet is full of advice to writers about agents — how to find the right agent, what to say in a query letter to get an agent, how to lock yourself in an agent's office and cry and refuse to leave until they agree to represent you. (Well, this isn't strictly true — according to a survey done by Google, no more than eight percent of all web pages contain advice to writers about agents.  Maybe nine percent.)

But what about advice to agents about writers?  Surely there are a few tips and cautions about dealing with sensitive artists who can be somewhat emotionally volatile?  (Wait, no, come back.  I didn't mean you.  Of course I didn't mean you.  I'm sorry.  Have a tissue.)

Betsy Lerner addresses the other side of the equation:

3) Never say you 'haven't finished reading the manuscript yet.' First, because it's a lie. You haven't started. And second, what we hear is, "I abandoned your novel without the slightest hesitation, because it defines 'putdownable.' I can't remember a story that affected me less."

[....] 8 ) There is a good way and a bad way to use social media. The good way is to sing my praises. The bad way is anything else. I don't want to know you're on vacation in Nantucket. I don't go on vacation. I don't go to Nantucket. I write in a garage with an extension cord running in through the window. And think before you tweet that you just finished the best manuscript you've read in five years. Think about every one of your clients hoping you'll lock your babies in an overheated car.

9) Hate with us. When I slam the door and flop onto my bed shouting "I hate him," because my editor queried my use of semicolons, don't explain his perspective. This isn't about grammar, I'm trying to make you choose between us; there is only one correct answer.

– Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone « Betsy Lerner.