Writing - 10 things in the news

Talking dolphins, lots about beer and a rampant old tortoise.



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1. Dolphins appear to talk in sentences.

Which is a step further along the evolutionary pathway than football supporters.


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2. New Zealand has a sperm shortage.

Ready for the call!


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3. There is a drone-racing league.

I thought they meant male bees.


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4. Doctors estimate dying patients will live twice as long as they actually do.

God decides.
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5. Most beer contains a product made from the swim bladder of fish.

Very fishy.
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6. How drunk you think you are depends on how drunk your friends are.

Never a right answer.


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7. A Harvester restaurant in Gloucester, England, already has its Christmas decorations up.

Only 98 days to go.


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8. You can earn a washing machine by picking 10 tonnes of cotton in eastern Uzbekistan.

Hope it handles woollens and polyester also.


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9. There's an "elderly Olympics" in which residents of Swiss retirement homes compete against each other.

Carbon fibre zimmer frames as well?


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10. Diego, a 100-year-old tortoise, has fathered about 800 offspring on his native Galapagos Archipelago, helping save his species from extinction.

Smooth operator!


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God Bless