My Brains!!! ep, 4

I must have looked looney to anyone who could have been watching. I had to be careful, had to tow the line. My minders would take any hint of an excuse to lock me away and pick apart my brain.

I flipped down the sun visor and glanced at my eyes in the mirror. I have no idea if my brain knew English, but I hoped it could understand.

"Listen up, brain," I started. "I don't know what it is you want, but me getting locked away isn't going to get you what you want. I bet you don't want to wind up in a petry dish, or whatever. You need to tow the line, cut down on the crazy. At least for the next few hours until I get the mess you made cleaned up. You got that?"

As if in response, Oscar-the-Cat meowed from the bag in the backseat.

My eyes went wide and I swerved unintentionally.

No. That wasn't real. Oscar-the-Cat was dead. Dead-dead. I'd felt how stiff he was as I slid him in the ba—

"Meowwwwww!"

"Oscar!" I called, bouncing the car up on the curb and throwing the car in park. I jumped out and went to the backseat and threw open the bag.

Oscar-the-Cat was still dead. He meowed again, but this time I knew it was in my head. He was down for the count, but good.

I was in trouble. I'd never had auditory hallucinations before. The doctors said it hadn't gotten to that part of my brain. I was about to get back in the car when my bladder suddenly felt overwhelmingly full.

I wasn't going to make it.

I ran around to the other side of the car, putting it between me and passing traffic. My pants unzipped and unbuttoned, I pulled my underwear down and let fly. For a moment, it felt like it would go on forever, but as the stream died down I shuddered with relief and opened my eyes.

There was an old woman in a sundress, fanning herself on the porch and watching me.

"Sorry," I said. "I have a medical condition."

Other than her mouth hanging open, there wasn't anything to indicate what I'd just done registered. She didn't move from her seat, didn't stop fanning herself.

I jumped back in my car and pulled off.

"1) Throw away bag, 2) phone in prescription, 3) call work, 4) pick up child," I said. Wait a minute. "1) Throw away bag, 2) phone in prescription, 3) call work, 4) pick up child." Had to stay on top of everything. I couldn't throw away the bag here. If that old lady called the police they might not bother with a weirdo urinater but a weirdo urinater who killed cats and wrote strange stories about mass murder in blood they might want to look for. Besides, my fingerprints were on file.

I grabbed my cell to call work. I flipped it open and Nancy was on the other end.

"Jerry, there's blood on the pantry door."

"I know-I know," I stammered. "I'm sorry I… cut my hand. I was looking for the medical kit. I know-I know… it's not in there. Sorry, just leave it and I'll clean it up when I get home."

My mind was racing a million miles a second. Couldn't let anything slip.

"Well, it's already done. I'm not just going to leave blood smeared all over. Anyways, how are you?"

"I'm fine-I'm fine. And you?"