I R Professional

So, today, I'd like to talk about professional standards. Yes, really. And stop snickering. You see, while I'm just a lowly amateur alternative indie writer, I'd like to point out a few things about my work ethic. If you go to my little archive calendar, you might notice how there are very few gaps in my posts. Where you find those bigger gaps, I'm either on vacations and away from the Internet, or I'm in a mood swing or depressive phase and have withdrawn to avoid causing offense. At all other times, I write consistently. I do my "job," even now that it's just back to being a hobby.

I put out work consistently too, and usually with just a few mistakes. So few that no one mentions them in reviews. I know the mistakes are still there, but I've finally whacked enough out that people tend not to mention the survivors. Yet, when I run across them again, (I reread books to keep my facts straight for the sequels) those little bastards are going down. I'll never have a 100% error free book, but no publisher has ever scored that feat. But I get close enough to the professional standard that people don't pick on the mistakes. They're able to focus more on the story itself, and if they do have complaints, it's for non-mechanical stuff like, "Too much introspection," (fair cop) or, "perhaps a bit too preachy," (ditto, and I swore to God I wasn't gonna be a preachy writer, but sometimes, yes, I am. y_- )

I take bad reviews well, even posting them for other people to look at. I don't dwell on them, or stalk the reviewer. Later on, I may offer the same reviewer another story, but they get the same polite query as everyone else. I don't stalk reviewers who accepted a book and then didn't read it. I'd like to. Really. But I don't because it isn't professional to stalk. Not even a little bit.

I don't accuse my distributors of stealing sales. I'm really not sure I understand why so many writers attribute poor sales with someone ripping them off. People, you've seen me react to poor sales with depressions and mood swings, but I never wondered if Smashwords was hiding sales from me. They send me an email right after I get a sale. I have a positive balance with them. And truthfully, I trust the Smashwords accounting department because they extended me a loan for ISBN numbers, and they didn't even charge interest though I was in the red for many, many months. So no, I don't think Mark Coker is ripping me off for some of my sales. I sometimes think he should do a better job of running his site, but that is a whole other ball of wax.

This is what I see as professional behavior for a writer. Not whether I can smile and be polite 24/7. I'm not always on the clock, and I'm not always in the best of moods when I sit down to write these blog posts. But I always do what I have to, try to make a point, and then wander out to let y'all talk amongst yourselves. It's true that a whole lot more people talk when I start waving middle fingers like I'm trying to be the queer version of Slim Shady, but I don't make angry posts to generate controversy. I write angry posts because that day, quelle shock, I'm angry.

Today, I'm actually okay…well, I need to pee, actually, so I should try and get to that point I was talking about earlier.

Writers, it's fine if you want to talk about what is and isn't professional behavior for other writers, but if you spend more time making opinions than you do books, you're a blogger, not an author. And there's nothing wrong with bloggers. Some of my best friends are…ooh, wait. My point is, you're not acting like a professional by talking about professional behavior. You're just telling other people how you think they should act. Mind your own business, write your books, and shut the fuck up about what other writers be doin'.

Readers, don't apply what is professional in your job to what is professional for a writer at any status level. I don't have to be nice for anyone's benefit if I don't want to. That's not in my job description. All I have to do to be doing my job is keep the words flowing. And unlike a lot of wannabes who talk big shit, I'm still delivering the goods, book after book, after book.

And yeah, it's true that I probably make my job a bit harder by being so bluntly honest. But I promised people I'd only lie in my fiction, and sometimes, the truth is not going to sit well with people. Because sometimes I'm revealing an ugly truth about myself, and people react badly. Or other times, I point out an ugly side to other people, and they react defensively. But me doing this is not unprofessional behavior. I'm still writing as I offer you my opinions, and so I am still doing my job. Maybe you don't like how I'm doing it and you decide to change the channel. That's your prerogative, and you are entitled to that choice.

But it still doesn't mean I'm not being a professional.