Dialogue Writing Hints
Wednesday's Writing on Writing
One of the clichés of writing conversation is feeling the need to explain more than once what's going on, as if the reader can't figure it out on his own. I actually read a novel in which, when a character said something quirky like "Promptly, punctually, and prissily" (which was actually funny and fit the personality), the author felt the need to add, "he said alliteratively." Sure glad that was clarified.
Other writers have a character respond to a diatribe from another with "Yep," or "Nope," or a shrug. Perfect. I love to learn about personalities this way. The character is a man of few words. But too often, the author intrudes, adding, "he said, eschewing small talk." Yeah, we got that.
If you create a character who backs into a conversation with tentative phrases like "Oh, I was just wondering…" or "I don't know how to say this, but if I, well, let me say it this way…" we get it. We understand this is a timid, nervous person, afraid of saying something wrong, sensitive to others' feelings. Avoid the temptation to explain. Don't follow that with, "she began nervously, unsure how to broach the subject."
Maybe the responder to that speaker says, "Is there a question in there somewhere? What are you saying?" That tells us all we need to know. You don't have to explain by adding, "the insensitive jerk said."
Listen to people express themselves. Note cultural similarities and distinctive characteristics. Is the husband an old-school patriarch, or henpecked? See how the subjects behave differently based on how comfortable they are expressing themselves or sharing family secrets. Television documentaries capture foreign dialogue, showing how people of other cultures speak. The mall, church, a public gathering—all can become your listening and evaluating laboratories.
My favorite advancement in the writing of dialogue—though I admit it is slow in taking hold—is the realization that the word asked is almost always redundant: "'Where's the dog?' he asked." The sentence of dialogue is interrogative, and it ends with a question mark. Is it not redundant to add "he asked"? I never use asked in attributions any more: "'Where's the dog?' he said."
That's all you need. Yes, it occasionally jars readers. Sometimes editors will even start changing said back to ask until they realize I've been so consistent with it that it must be on purpose. More and more writers are replacing ask with said, and to me it only makes sense.
As you rewrite and polish, read your dialogue aloud and listen for problems with cadence. Your editor—and your reader—will be glad you did.
