I'm a Writer - the weird and wacky responses to that simple statement
Who knew that telling people I am a Writer would be on par with declaring I am a Dentist, Proctologist or Politician.
Okay, no one exactly screws up their nose, but everyone always seems to have a strong opinion.
My all time favourite response generally goes something along the lines of; "I could never dream of writing an ENTIRE book."
I know it might be childish but this statement always makes me want to bark out in my best Sergeant-Major voice - Never say never. Drop and give me twenty pages.
"A Writer? Really? Aren't you clever."
Sometimes this is clearly a compliment, sometimes not so much, as they appear genuinely surprised by the fact that I am capable of stringing several sentences together.
"Would I have heard of you?"
I love this one. It's up there with - Oh, I have a cousin in Australia, maybe you know them?
"PNR? (Followed by the slightest sniff of disdain) That's a thing?"
Once upon a time I would have spluttered a defensive response. Pointed out the Twilight phenomena. Listed best selling, award winning authors such as J.D Robb, Charlaine Harris and a host of others. Then probably scurried away deflated, made to feel as if I had just sold my soul for three magic beans.
Now a days I just smile, square my shoulders and look them straight in the eye before launching into a detail summation of each and every one of my books - Hey, they asked.
"Would your work be suitable for my book club?"
If your club enjoys steamy, hot, fun romances and a couple of glasses of chardonnay - then sure.
"Couldn't you write something else?"
...... um, what exactly?
"Romance Writer? You write about sex?"
Yes, all my books are is wall to wall sex scenes. Relentless, hot and heavy, sweaty sex. Which is better than telling them the truth - Yes, I write the occasional sex scene. Generally just after breakfast when I'm sitting in my pyjamas, looking out the window at my garden, grinding my teeth at the number of weeds that have sprouted up, seemingly over night.
And let's not forget the wacky, left field responses.
"Aren't you afraid of plagiarising someone else's work?"
Seriously? Never! It's called an imagination. Use it.
"So do you have to do a lot of research, for the sex scenes?"
Yes. (Tone dripping with sarcasm)
Follow up question. "So would you like to conduct that research with me?"
No.
Maybe I was lulled into a false sense of security because before writing, my occupation was 'I.T Manager' - since no one knows exactly what that entails they generally just nodded and smiled. (Okay, yes, the occasional person would ask me about a problem they were having with their computer).
It took me several years to believe I was a Writer. It seemed awfully presumptuous to declare myself one after publishing only a book or two. But then came a third book and a fourth. (And now I'm into double digits - WooHoo!) The truth could no longer be denied - I was a Writer.
Now I take pride in saying it out loud. I take even more pride in not howling in laughter and rolling around on the ground when someone responds with such pithy statements as - "A Writer, really? Thanks to the Internet, isn't everyone calling themselves a Writer these days?"
Let's find out - Drop and give me twenty pages.
Okay, no one exactly screws up their nose, but everyone always seems to have a strong opinion.
My all time favourite response generally goes something along the lines of; "I could never dream of writing an ENTIRE book."
I know it might be childish but this statement always makes me want to bark out in my best Sergeant-Major voice - Never say never. Drop and give me twenty pages.
"A Writer? Really? Aren't you clever."
Sometimes this is clearly a compliment, sometimes not so much, as they appear genuinely surprised by the fact that I am capable of stringing several sentences together.
"Would I have heard of you?"
I love this one. It's up there with - Oh, I have a cousin in Australia, maybe you know them?
"PNR? (Followed by the slightest sniff of disdain) That's a thing?"
Once upon a time I would have spluttered a defensive response. Pointed out the Twilight phenomena. Listed best selling, award winning authors such as J.D Robb, Charlaine Harris and a host of others. Then probably scurried away deflated, made to feel as if I had just sold my soul for three magic beans.
Now a days I just smile, square my shoulders and look them straight in the eye before launching into a detail summation of each and every one of my books - Hey, they asked.
"Would your work be suitable for my book club?"
If your club enjoys steamy, hot, fun romances and a couple of glasses of chardonnay - then sure.
"Couldn't you write something else?"
...... um, what exactly?
"Romance Writer? You write about sex?"
Yes, all my books are is wall to wall sex scenes. Relentless, hot and heavy, sweaty sex. Which is better than telling them the truth - Yes, I write the occasional sex scene. Generally just after breakfast when I'm sitting in my pyjamas, looking out the window at my garden, grinding my teeth at the number of weeds that have sprouted up, seemingly over night.
And let's not forget the wacky, left field responses.
"Aren't you afraid of plagiarising someone else's work?"
Seriously? Never! It's called an imagination. Use it.
"So do you have to do a lot of research, for the sex scenes?"
Yes. (Tone dripping with sarcasm)
Follow up question. "So would you like to conduct that research with me?"
No.
Maybe I was lulled into a false sense of security because before writing, my occupation was 'I.T Manager' - since no one knows exactly what that entails they generally just nodded and smiled. (Okay, yes, the occasional person would ask me about a problem they were having with their computer).
It took me several years to believe I was a Writer. It seemed awfully presumptuous to declare myself one after publishing only a book or two. But then came a third book and a fourth. (And now I'm into double digits - WooHoo!) The truth could no longer be denied - I was a Writer.
Now I take pride in saying it out loud. I take even more pride in not howling in laughter and rolling around on the ground when someone responds with such pithy statements as - "A Writer, really? Thanks to the Internet, isn't everyone calling themselves a Writer these days?"
Let's find out - Drop and give me twenty pages.
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