What do YOU want for Christmas? #humor

My mother texted me today.

Mom: What do you want for Xmas?

I stopped. Panicked. Checked the calendar–then double-checked it.

Yep, it’s still September 8th.

I’m like…

I pondered the question for about 20 minutes. My mother’s tricky. It can’t be anything geeky or technological. Kitchen items are the ideal request. Finally, I came up with the perfect answer.

Me: A vegetable steamer.

Mom: What size?

Ah ha! A trick question.

Me: Normal size.

Mom: Electric?

Another trick question.

I asked Mr. Snark for his insight. He said, “Ask for a chain pull and a diesel engine.”

Me: “Yeah, thanks.”

Mr. Snark: “Where are you going?”

“Amazon. It’s time to start my Christmas shopping.”