Along with blondes, redheads and brunettes are my favorite.

Mostly redheads, tho.

Or blondes.

Brunettes, tho, man…..

Jesus I need to get laid.

Craigslist here I cum!

Just kidding.

Redtube here I cum!

(At least I won’t have to talk to anyone).

Just kidding.

Porn is a sin.

Booze. 

Booze will work.

And booze is not a sin because I decided.

Besides, I’m baking a potato, so can’t get caught up.

Pamela Andersen says porn is corrosive to the soul.

If anyone would know….

Maybe I ain’t horny after all.

Maybe I’m just bored, stuffed full of my own privilege.

I live in the U.S., where even homeless people have smartphones.

I have privilege, too, even though I’m not homeless.

I didn’t even do anything today but sit in front of my computer.

I made almost a thousand bucks.

Surely I can afford a blonde or a brunette.

A redhead, now. Gotta save up for that.