House descriptions with sass

alittlebitridiculous:

moonysgoonies:

Gryffindor 
-*finishes a story* “omg that reminds me of that time..”
-“am i genuinely excited or just humble bragging, probably both? you’ll never know?”
-*tries to fix hair way too often*
-“literally everyone is my fam”
-“yeah let’s hang out!! but only for like 5min because i have other plans”

Ravenclaw
-“i don’t brag often but fuck yes i know i’m one of a kind”
-“yes i’m aware i look like shit but i’ve weighted the smell:no shower ratio and i can last until tomorrow at 3:48am”
-“omg get these humans away from me RIGHT NOW”
-“i did see that meme. i’ve seen all memes. just give up with your dignity”
-“okay you’re right but my reasons are better”

Hufflepuff
-“fine yes cut me to get on the fucking bus it’s not fucking going anyWHERE”
-“living cute and drama free”
-“breathe and maybe the bad thing will go away” *it doesnt* “well fUCK”
-*small incident* “literally did not sign up for this” 
-“god i’m so full” *sees friend with food* “are you gonna finish that?”

Slytherin
-“i hate people” “you’re a person” “yes but i’m literally better”
-“excuses are pointless”
-“my blood is 98% coffee and 120% GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE”
-“are you actually trying to intimidate me? lol cute”
-“my loyalty, my choice. you break that? you deal with it, cause i’m gone”

Mmhmmm.