Farmer Maggot's Mushroom Pot Pie Inspired by J.R.R. Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring

I've always had a love-hate relationship with Tolkien. On one hand, he's an author I've always looked up to: his prose is gorgeously poetic, his world-building is impeccable, his character development makes me drool, and his stories are inspiring in the highest degree.

On the other hand? Sometimes he makes me want to bang my head on the wall and scream, "Too many words, man! Too many words!!" I mean, yes, you have an impressive way with words. I get it. I acknowledged it. I bow down to it. But...