The official ICC guide to cricket formats

The ICC contacted us so that we could come up with a detailed explanation of all the cricket formats.

Test Cricket:

It's sort of like long term relationship sex. Sometimes nothing can happen for five days, or even a a few weeks. It can feel like the game is choking the life out of you as you pointless plod away with often lifeless encounters that don't really thrill you. Then something clicks, and it's the best damn thing you've ever seen, and if your lucky, you'll get a climax out of it that will stay for you for a lifetime.

One Day Cricket:

It's a series of largely unfulfilling one night stands. The big problem other than the fact that most of the encounters are pointless and forgettable, is that the conversations to get to any sort of climax is just horribly dull. You do it because of the odd occasion when the climax is worthwhile, and because there easier and less effort than a relationship. It's always helped by booze. 40 over cricket is still a one night stand, but with a fair chunk of the boring chat cut out.

T20:

It's like a trip to the strippers. If you don't go that often, or think your going to pick up, it's ok once in a while. Especially with friends. However, if you start going to it instead of trying to pick up, or turning up on your own, it feels a bit wrong. Drinking seems like a good idea, but due to various problems it's best to get drunk before you go. And if you don't, you'll probably wonder why you went at all.

Cricket Maxx:

It's more like a random fingering in the back of a cab with a slightly more attractive than average married co-worker that you sort of remember fondly even if all details are a bit sketchy.

Sixes:

It's like fucking your cousin with down syndrome. Any involvement with this should result in you going to jail you sick fuck.

Last Man Stand:

It's masturbation, in the end.

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