Something I’ve Never Told Anyone

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Something I’ve Never Told Anyone

Hey everyone! I’m Melissa Taylor, Director of Online Bible Studies at Proverbs 31 Ministries. Lysa invited me to guest post on her blog today which is perfect because I’m going to take this opportunity to confess something that I’ve never told anyone.

There have been times I have been invited to something, yet I declined because I couldn’t afford it. To be honest, sometimes I’d rather just not be invited because afterwards I feel like I’m not as good as others. That they are better than me. That I wish I was them. And even though I was included, I feel left out.

There. I said it.

Recently I was invited to go the the spa with some girlfriends to celebrate a friend’s birthday. It would’ve been so much fun, but here was the reality: We had just sent two kids off to college. Another still lives at home. Money is tight. It’s clear this is not in the budget and so, with bitterness in my heart, I declined.

It’s not the first time this has happened. I’ve declined several invitations based on the financial cost it would entail.

I’ve asked God, “Can’t You just bless me with a little more? Why does it seem that everyone else gets to go to these amazing places and do all these fun things and I can’t? I’m missing out on so much!”

If you’re thinking, “Wow, this girl is a spoiled brat!” I’d have to agree with you. Remember, this has been my little secret up ‘til now.

Then Lysa’s book Uninvited came along. At first I thought, “This sounds like a great book, but I don’t think it’s for me personally. I get invited to lots of things!”

Then I read Chapter 1, “I’d Rather Ignore Honesty.” BAM. It hit me hard! I realized that although I may not be rejected, I’m putting myself into the “rejected” category with my self-rejection. No one else thinks I’m a less than, left out loser. Just me.

Rejection has many faces. Sometimes it’s brought on by others, and sometimes we bring it on ourselves. My feeling less than was not due to another’s words or actions. It was my own self-rejection which was rooted in pride — something I needed to deal with.

In Chapter 11, Lysa writes:

This could be an invitation to live in expectation of something else. Today’s disappointment is making room for tomorrow’s appointment.

One thing I’ve failed to acknowledge is the real reason I say “No, thank you.” It’s not because we don’t have enough money. It’s because God has given me an invitation to live in expectation of something else, like: My daughter’s lacrosse game. A date night with my husband. A vacation with my family. Getting my hair done. Taking my dogs to the vet.

Reading Uninvited has helped me realize that today’s disappointment is the reason I can say yes to tomorrow’s appointment. And the next time I need to decline an invitation due to the cost, I don’t need wallow in self-pity. Instead, I need to view it with the expectation of what God has in store for me.

If you can relate on any level, I want to invite you to join me for Proverbs 31 Ministries’ next Online Bible Study of Uninvited, beginning September 6. All you need to participate is the Uninvited book!