Are You Coping with a Tough Time?
Respect your suffering. — You must be able to “be” with the pain you feel. Transitions bring up strong emotions such as anger, anguish, sadness and loss. Honor them and know they are part of the healing process. A friend once told me, “If you can feel it, you can heal it.” Allowing yourself to fully experience the so-called “negative” emotions also allows you to fully experience the joy, redemption and happiness when you emerge from the transition period.
Acknowledge your vulnerability. — It takes a lot of energy to put up a false front of being “just fine” when you’re not. Let people know you’re hurting. Friends and family members often want to help but don’t know how. Think about what would be helpful to you and tell them what you need.
Find meaning in your crisis. — This may be a good time to explore spirituality, religion and philosophy. It helps to find depth and meaning when you’re going through a difficult time. Reading biographies and autobiographies can help you see that ups and downs, successes and failures, are a normal part of human existence. People (you) do go on to thrive and survive even after the most horrendous challenges.
Trust your inner voice. — When you go through a life crisis you’re bound to be on the receiving end of well-meaning advice from others. “Start dating again!” “Join a support group!” “Take Prozac!” You’ll find true solace in listening to your own inner wisdom for direction. It speaks to you in feelings, images, words and dreams. When you begin to “tune in” you’ll find your intuition has its own unique-to-you way of communicating.
Acknowledge your talents and interests. — When things get tough, we can find solace in hobbies, creative pursuits and interests. Volunteering in a field of interest can serve several purposes. You’re out of the house and surrounded by others. You’re being of service to someone else who needs help. It can also enable you to uncover a new talent or aptitude that may lead to a renewed sense of purpose.
Remember: this too shall pass. — Most likely you have gone through a life transition before. It could be a positive but anxiety producing time, such as graduating from college, getting a first job or becoming a new parent. What helped you then? Each time you face a new challenge, remember to concentrate on the skills, talents and resources that enabled you to survive the last rough patch.
I close with this quote by author Alan Cohen. It seems to sum up all that I’ve written above. “If adversity moves us to rediscover ourselves and the God within us, it becomes an important ally. Pain and change are the Universe’s way of getting our attention so we can shift direction from loss to success.”
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