It could work!

So we had the 6.4 Km rucksack march this morning.

Me: How many fell out?
Sgt T: Only 2.
Me: Why'd they fall out?
Sgt T: They're weak!
Me: *nods* How are they doing now?
Sgt T: One is fine, but OS Bloggins is still feeling faint.
Me: Did you make sure they've properly hydrated?
Sgt T: Yes, although I don't know why they'd need it; they only made it 2 km and rode in the back of the van the rest of the way. They really don't need to go to the MIR, so I'm not sure what to do.
Me: Have you tried singing "Soft Kitty?"