The Know How, not "I Know Nuthink," charm of Hogan's Heroes

Hogan's Heroes was never my favorite sitcom but no show better portrayed the NATO alliance, and the whole post war peace that the Americans fought to secure, even though the show was ostensibly about a POW camp. Hogan's Heroes was really about WW II men and who they were, and having a Grandpa that was a war hero made the show very relatable. My Grandpa had a Bob Crane "Hogan"esque charm, even though he may have lacked Hogan's cunning, but he had his confidence and swagger. Every episode was pretty much the same and all about the prisoners of war putting one over on the self obsessed and stupid Nazi's, nor did Hogan's Heroes ever fail at their mission. The show was painfully predictable but hammered home the message that the Americans and their European allies (France and England), were smarter than the entire German army and couldn't help but defeat them in the war, a fact borne out by history.

I probably wouldn't be watching Hogan's Heroes circa 2016 except it comes on every night, and there just is no denying the comic grandeur of Colonel Klink, or Schultz, two of the funniest most bumbling idiotic characters ever put on TV, and an insult to every German. They were self-obsessed 'yes' men with Klink's vainglorious obsession at a promotion within the Nazi ranks, and Schultz's blind obedience. I'm not sure the show would've ever been remembered the way it has if it wasn't for Schultz's endlessly quotable line, "I know nuthink," which sometimes got turned around to, "I saw nuthink," and "I heard nuthink." These blanket excuses became a common touchstone for my entire generation, and actually managed to link an entire era of TV fans, something no one but Schultz may have been able to do. There have been other great quotable lines on TV shows but none with the same political/philosophical grandeur.

What I'm most struck with when I watch "Hogan's Heroes" today is how much the American character has changed from the WW II man of the Kennedy years to the "Silver Spoon" Reagan years, where the star's father wanted to be a child with a toy train. The plot lines of "Hogan's Hero's" are almost indistinguishable, but in each one Hogan and his unit would devise a way to trip up the Nazis and either foil one of their war plans, or simply embarrass Schultz and Klink. They did it to such perfection that neither Schultz nor Klink had any idea they'd been hoodwinked by Hogan, but rather ended up congratulating him on a job well done when he'd report to them that he'd found the culprit, even though it had been Hogan the whole time. The Americans and their allies had cunning, charisma, and quick wits on their side, all attributes that defined the Greatest Generation.

Ironically, I fear that the "I know nuthink," stance of Schultz that came to define my generation hit a chord not only for its humor, but how Schultz was all but defining the new American character blooming and blossoming. The movie that comes to mind that most symbolizes the new American character is "Idiocracy," a land where all intelligence is gone, and only the most craven desires exist, kind of like Clink's world of wanting only to rise in the Nazi ranks out of sheer ambition, but at least he had this. The new American character as epitomized by "Idiocracy" doesn't even have something as shallow as raw ambition, but rather seem motivated by sheer ecstasy and sensation. "Ouch, my balls," is the line that comes to mind, even as the story eludes me, but if nothing else it's a prediction of Trump, and this entire election.

We just aren't a Know How Nation anymore, and though there are definitely glimmers of it in the IPhone and Steve Jobs, there isn't in the general population. We almost pride ourselves on not being able to figure out anything and look to super heroes to solve our problems now instead of the common man, or anyone from the people. We are in love with the pomp and circumstance much like Klink, and both candidates for President represent that in spades, with poor Bernie Sanders being put to the back of the bench. We're a society who came to pride itself on the idea of specialization, an idea that would've been anemic to Hogan's Heroes, who weren't so much specialists in any one thing, but rather schemers with vivid imaginations. The American was a Mercurial character with a quick mind, and no desire to be defined, save by his innocence. The whole efficacy of the Heroe's and why they were able to outsmart the Nazi's every week was that they were all selfless, and acting for the greater good.

I never would've thought to compare "Hogan's Heroe's" with "The Beverly Hillbillies" but they were both on in the '60's and something comes quickly to mind: they were F.D.R.'s America. Both shows all but obliterated the divide between rich and poor, high status and low status, and in that way were a direct attack on the whole class system that is created out of economic inequality, and what F.D.R. was battling in The New Deal. In the case of "Hogan's Heroes," they outwit the Nazi's every week through cunning, and in the case of the "Hillbillies" they outwit the banking class with sheer innocence, all but laughing Mr. Drysdale right off their property! So, you could say the F.D.R. American through the filter of these two sitcoms was a mixture of intelligence and innocence, a rare combination. The intelligence enabled the American character to not only survive but to thrive, something we were doing as a Nation in the immediate aftermath of WW II, while the innocence of the "Hillbillies" was our purity of soul that could never be tempted by bankers or evil Nazi's.