Tips to be a Know-it-all

So, over the past year I realized I have sort of a talent at being a know-it-all. My arrogance took me by surprise because I thought "hmm, how could I possibly be a know-it-all and feel so stupid all the time?" Then it hit me; I had been using some pompous cheat codes to give the impression of douchebaggery without even realizing it.

So I am here to reveal my three tips to be the know-it-all in your friend group. Don't worry, this takes close to no skill and you'll be annoying your friends in no time.

1st
Subscribe to the Economist. I know what you may be thinking, if this requires no skill why are you making me read a magazine?. Well never fear. You don't actually have to read the whole magazine to sound like a jackass. Just read the first two pages. It sums up the news of the entire week. Three paragraphs from this section and you'll know more details about foreign affairs than your friends who watch MSNBC, CNN, or Fox News, daily.

2nd
Visit PEW once a week. You won't come across as a pedantic prick unless you have statistics to back it up. If you have time I would recommend searching the census bureau site too, but that’s not necessary. PEW tends to have more timely data on trending topics. Look at their home page and see if there are any topics you and your friends have been debating.

3rd
Download the Brainy Quote app and read through it a couple times a day. You can sort quotes by authors or topics. If you can pull off a timely quote by some famous dead guy in the middle of a conversation you will be the KING (or queen) of arrogance. Don't believe me? Give it a try. Or as Nikos Kazantzakis once said "In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can."

It’s that simple.