Give Me Zen

First of all,

I’m not schizophrenic.

Oh sure,

I hear voices,

but it’s all me, me, me,

screaming until my ears bleed

asking, “Why aren’t you listening?”

Sometimes I think

the whole world is a lie

and the stars are on fire

because of me,

I think I did something wrong

when I was cut from my mother’s stomach

which is why they had to put me

in an incubator.

I haven’t felt safe

since they took me out of it.

These days,

I can’t even sleep,

because the silent madness

grows on you,

until you’re lying in a ditch

with a tear in your eye,

and I won’t buy guns

or turn fertiliser into explosives

but I might just change the world

with the words I use.

Or maybe

I’m getting

ahead of myself.

Truth is,

I wish I could flick a switch

and quit thinking,

just so I could

get some sleep sometime;

sleep is for the weak

but I need it,

I can’t work as hard

as I’d like to.

Give me zen my friend

for one long night

of silence.