Jacob was in Maddie's shower for a long time, and when he came out he smelled like he'd fallen into his mother's herb garden. He was using Maddie's razor to shave when, without fanfare, the door opened. He swung around, ready to kill whoever stood there.
It was Maddie. She held an arm full of clothes. His clothes.
He was naked.
If she cared, she didn't show it. She put the clothes on the hamper. "Here. After the cops left, I went to your house and found you something to wear." Her lips curled with disgust. "You have perfectly good clothes in the closet, and you were wearing … these." With two fingers, she picked up his pants, his underwear, his t-shirt. "I'll take these out to the garbage. You're a pig."
"You sound like my mother."
"That's because we both have vaginas. People with vaginas are smarter than people with penises. If we weren't, we'd live like pigs, too."
His penis apparently heard its name mentioned and took this inopportune moment to remember she had a nice ass. He turned back to the sink to finish shaving.
"When you come out, if you want, I'll give you a hand cutting your hair." She said, "Wow, you're skinny."
He glanced at her.
She was looking at his face. "Shaving makes you look even more like a concentration camp survivor. Not a good look. You should eat something."
For whatever reason, his penis found that exciting, too. So much for his comforting theory that he was impotent.
He leaned against the cold porcelain sink. That knocked back his erection.
Horniness: God's gift for caring whether Maddie walked off a cliff. — BECAUSE I'M WATCHING, Sept 6

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