only you (and by you I mean the cat) can prevent forest fires

Whenever Darian wants something, she'll go to a designated spot. If she wants her litter cleaned, she'll stand beside the box. If she wants outside, she'll stand by the door. If she wants shrimp, she'll hop onto Jen's chair (and, if Jen's on it, she'll jump on the desk and nuzzle the laptop).

After eleven years, we like to think we can translate what she says. Thirty percent of the time it's "love me," thirty percent "shrimp me," twenty percent it's "feed me," ten percent "let me outside," nine percent it's "time to get up/go to bed," and one percent is a surprise.

The first/last time we encountered a surprise was when she had cancer (no cat will ever say "I feel bad, please take me to the vet" but I have to admit she was really patient during that time).

Imagine our surprise last night when, twenty minutes after we went to bed, she woke us.

me: (sleepily) your turn.

Jen: (getting up) are you hungry?

Darian: (runs into the office nook, towards her litter box and Jen's chair)

Jen: (following her) is it your litter box?

Darian: (runs past the box)

Jen: do you want shrimp?

Darian: (runs past the chair)

Jen: oh. You want love. (pets the cat, then goes back to bed)

Darian: mrwl!

me: maybe she wants outside.

Jen: (gets up, opens the glass door to the private yard)

Darian: (runs back into the office nook)

Jen: it doesn't look like she wants outside. (follows Darian) Are you sure you don't want shrimp?

Darian: mrwl!

me: (waking up more) do you smell that?

Jen: (from the bathroom) oh crap.

It turned out that a piece of incense had broken away from the stick. Through the magic of bad luck (nothing like this has EVER happened before), it fell onto the bathroom rug, where it continued burning.

The rug hadn't caught fire yet but it was smoldering. When we turned the light on, we discovered that there was a ton of smoke in the room. If Darian hadn't woken us...

The next couple hours were spent airing out the room, vowing never to burn incense anymore. We also lavished loving attention on the hero of the hour. For her part, Darian has been basking in the attention, deigning to allow us to feed her shrimp on Jen's chair, in her perch, and on the bed.

And, throughout all this, she's continued to be awesome.



The biggest kerfuffle in her kitteny reward occured this evening, when Jen and I discussed whether or not to go to the late showing of Harry Potter.

Darian: mrwl.

Jen: she said no.

me: then we're staying in.

If Potter's lucky, he has an awesome black cat watching out for him.