If you are looking for a meaningful relationship….read this first!
I overheard a conversation on the bus the other day. Two women were complaining and the conversation went something like this…
“There are no ‘good’ men around”
“All the good ones are taken”
“All the rest are dogs anyway”
If you have ever said or thought anything remotely close to the above and still looking for a relationship you need to stop looking now! Millions of people are out there are looking for love in all the wrong places and, with the wrong mindset. If you do not get your head on right you will never have a meaningful relationship. When I say meaningful relationship I mean finding someone who you can share your life with. I am not talking about the quick trip to an online dating website where you can shop for your soul mate through the corridors of glam photos and false IDs. Finding a lasting partner on a website is like finding a needle in a hay stack. It isn’t exactly romantic either. The new dating website ‘Plenty Fish in the Sea.com’ sums it up. They may as well have called it ‘Never Mind.com’ and if you have no success go to our sister site ‘Better luck next time’.com.
It’s laughable if it wasn’t sad. Many people have walked away from dating websites, escort agencies, hook ups organised by well-meaning friends, outings to bars, clubs, joining a gym, joining a class, taking up a hobby…feeling as if there is something wrong with them and their self-esteem in tatters.
Many people have lamented to me “I don’t know what it is about me but I always attract losers…bad boys…people who want to take advantage of me etc.… In this post I am going to explain why this happens and how to change it.
Let’s begin…
A few years ago a film and book came bursting on the scenes stating that you could attract anything into your life, money, love, fame and fortune if you focussed on it long and hard enough and thought positive thoughts. It was called ‘The Secrets’ I know of someone who was so taken by ‘The Secrets’ that she designed her perfect partner…colour of hair, income, personality…the lot. Needless to say she is still waiting. Millions of people who have read ‘The Secret’ are still waiting.
The ideas behind ‘The Secret’ was ‘borrowed’ from the spiritual combo Abraham Hicks. The whole of Abraham Hicks work is based on the Law of Attraction. What ‘The Secret’ did was commercialise the Law of Attraction and they glamorised it for marketing purposes but failed to deliver the small print.
The small print
-The Law of Attraction is mental connection first and foremost. It isn’t about looks. The idea is that you attract people into your life that harmonise with your dominant thoughts. The Law of attraction is not interested in what you say. It is interested in what you think and feel about what you say. The law of Attraction is literal. It takes you at your thought and not at your word.
-You’ve heard the phrase ‘be careful what you wish for because you just might get it’ that is what law of attraction literally means.
If we go back to the example of the women on the bus. We can get an idea of why they are so unlucky in love.
There are ‘no good men’ around etc. If she believes this then the Law of Attraction will present her with ‘no good men’ or men that are no good. If she believes that all the good ones are taken. The law of attraction will present her with loads of men that are taken…out of reach…off limits. If she believes all men are dogs…then she better stock up on dog food. The law of attraction hasn’t got time to play games with you and figure out what you really mean.
-The Law of Attraction does not work alone. Aristotle in the 4th century BC found that in all things there are patterns, sameness and differences. For example. We can say that a day consist of 2 distinct patterns day and night. The day holds 24 hours. This is always the same. Night has certain features and the day has certain features. The Greeks divided these patterns as they saw them into what they called conventions or laws.
There are 12 universal laws and they are immutable. Some of them you know: Law of Cause and Effect. Law of Gender Law of Vibration and so on. They all work together but the important laws which work with the Law of Attraction is the Law of Correspondence and the Law of Compensation. All three laws must work together for you to stand a chance at love.
In a nutshell the Law of Correspondence states ‘so above so below’ or ‘so within so without’….which means that your life, the people in it and the things that happen to you are a direct reflection of the way you think and what you think about yourself deep down. The Law of Compensation states that you will be rewarded for all things that you do. This is what some people refer to as karma.
How to work with the universal laws to get what you want
1 Law of correspondence. Work on yourself. Fall in love with yourself. If you cannot say ‘I love you’ when you look in the mirror then you are dreaming if you think someone else is going to love what you cannot. If you cannot stand to look at yourself naked in the mirror then no one will want to see you naked. Get fit and healthy. I am not talking about being perfect size 8. I am talking about learning to love yourself. If you love yourself someone will fall in love with what you have fallen in love with.
2. Law of compensation. Live a whole life. Do not put your life on hold waiting for that special person to show up. Amazing people are not attracted to corpses. Learn to do things by yourself. If you cannot stand your own company what makes you think that someone else will want to spend time with you. Learn stuff, develop hobbies. Become interesting to talk to and be with. Become fascinated so that you can be fascinating. Be kind. Give.
3. Law of attraction. Ask for what you want. Try this: “I am an amazing person and want a partner that matches me at my point of attraction… right now!
If you are looking for a long term relationship stop looking now!
4. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship then stop looking. It actually messes things up. Because while you are looking over there…love may just be over here. You draw people to you. There is a lovely Spanish saying: “Hay un sombrero para todo las cabezas”. There is a hat for every head. I believe that! Be still and love will find you. You do not have to do anything other than ‘do your thing’ and give the best of yourself. You do not have to join any club or sign up for anything that you wouldn’t normally do. You do not have to go looking for anyone. If you are confident you will attract confident people. If you are amazing you will attract amazing people.
If you show that you are committed to yourself… then wait and see who shows up…someone who is committed to you!
20 years experience….Consultant and Trainer to large companies including Microsoft and Intel…Subscribe and every 7 – 10 days you will receives… career coaching… life skills and professional advise…from me…Bev
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