Making a Contribution

I’ve mentioned Rob Greenfield several times in the past few blogs. His life is quite dissimilar from mine. He is 29 years old, I am 71 years old. He has bicycled across America. I’d be reluctant to bicycle down to the end of my driveway. He is outgoing and at home in the world of video and the Internet. I am introverted and at home, well… when I’m at home. For all the dissimilarities, I have found this young man to be for me, a true prophet – one who speaks truth with clarity and whose very life is an invitation to change and to action.

His enthusiasm and deep commitment have been a wake-up call for me. His message has gently nudged me to examine a fundamental assumption that has, all my life, kept me from all the joy and freedom I intellectually know is possible. Ever since leaving the profession of Engineering over forty years ago, I have been living with one foot lightly on the gas pedal of commitment to making a contribution to others, and the other foot heavy on the brake pedal of trying to live a successful, comfortable, and secure life as defined by my society’s standards. I don’t have that many years left and it is time for me to take my foot entirely off the brake.

I do not diminish the reality that I have made contributions. I have written eleven published books and have taught hundreds of students in several different venues. Many readers and students have expressed their appreciation for my work. Yet I have never really let their appreciation sink into my consciousness. Expressions of gratitude have always made me uncomfortable, not because of any virtue of humility, but because it hasn’t been real for me. I have been too immersed in “trying to make a living.”

My books sell thousands of copies each year and are translated into seven different languages, but it hasn’t been enough because it hasn’t afforded me a “living.” I honestly believe in living a simple life, free from the constraints of a consumer culture, but my belief has been counteracted by a subconscious frustration that I haven’t been “successful” in cultural terms. So I try to live simply while still clinging to the unconscious assumptions that run counter to that simplicity.

The only way out is to completely redefine my purpose for the remaining years of my life. Instead of trying to find the finances to keep myself comfortable and secure, I will simply try to make a contribution – without developing a strategy to make that contribution “pay.” I will face the fundamental question: Can I trust the Flow of Tao? I have purported to trust that Flow, but have constantly waited for and concentrated on the “inflow” before ever considering the “outflow.” It is time to fully open the other end of the pipe.

What does that mean? Like most of my life, I’m figuring it out as I go along, but there are some basic understandings I am working with:

I want to move toward needing the least possible income necessary for a simple healthy life. To do this I will have to eliminate some outstanding debt and rearrange my priorities. This may take a couple of years to iron out.
I want to focus my writing on helping to make a contribution to happiness, health, and freedom for as many people as possible, and to make that writing available as widely as possible.
I want to step outside my introverted comfort zone and interact with people in new and authentic ways, giving what I have to give in any way I can to students, readers, and friends. One step in this direction will be opening this blog to comments. I do ask that your comments be in the spirit of sharing ways we can each give our gifts to a wounded world.

I will keep you posted in the coming days as I look for ways of making my life a contribution rather than a struggle.

Blessings,

Bill