The Legend of Valtera: Chapter 4
That feels lovely, Prea thought, feeling the sun ’ s warmth caress her face as rays cut through the bay ’ s sea breeze while they wait at the docks. Today ’ s the day. She can see their ship on the horizon and Carr is jumping up and down with excitement. Alvie is waiting just as impatiently. Papa and Leal should be disembarking any minute. She can ’ t wait to see his face again, his chestnut hair blowing and his golden eyes gleaming like the sun as the smile spreads wide across his face. Their eyes lock and she can ’ t help herself. She runs down the dock towards him, into his strong arms. He grabs her tight, holding her close, embracing her with unconditional love.
Prea’s eyes flew open and her lungs gasped for air, but she couldn’t breathe. The sudden return to her reality threatened to consume her. Prea looked beside her, grateful that Beda and Dal had stayed with her and were now slumbering softly in her bed, still wearing their clothes from yesterday. But right now, she just wanted to be alone. She slipped out of bed, padded silently down the stairs, and headed for the cliff wearing her sleeping clothes and nothing else. Once her feet hit the cold ground, she ran through the trees, falling to her knees at her spot on the edge.
“I can’t do this…I…can’t,” she choked on her despair, sobbing freely. “Leal…I miss you so much. How am I…I can’t live without you.” She folded in half, clutching the earth in both of her hands, trying to cling to something tangible as she drowned in her grief. “You were supposed to protect each other,” Prea yelled, tearing earth from the ground. “You were supposed to return to me, safely.” She tossed the earth into the bay. “Both of you.”
Staring down at her empty, dirty hands, she wept until there was nothing left. Exhausted, Prea laid her head on the cold, hard ground and closed her eyes.
She was alone. All of her guides, her advisors and mentors, were dead. Who was she going to turn to? Now she had no one. There was just emptiness inside her. She had lost her faith with Papa and her hope had gone with Leal.
She wasn’t sure how long she lay there, trying to escape the truth that she would never again see the two men she loved most. The rising sun had done nothing to warm her curled up frame.
Prea heard Beda and Dal calling her name, but she ignored them. She didn’t want to talk, or think or feel. She just wanted it to be over. Their voices were getting closer, clearer through the trees.
“Prea,” Beda screamed when she saw her friend’s prostrate form and ran to her side. She pulled her into a sitting position, rubbing warmth back into her hands. “Prea, you’re frozen. What are you doing out here? We have to get you inside.”
Prea shook her head, avoiding Beda’s eyes. “No. Just leave me.”
“It’s Carr,” Dal said, coming up behind her. It was all he said; it was all she needed.
Her head snapped up. “What’s wrong?”
Dal took her hands from Beda, pulling her up from the frozen ground. “He’s coughing again. Alvie won’t come out of her room and we can’t get him to stop. You’re the one he wants.”
Prea’s mind sharpened as she hurried back to the house. “Where is he?”
“In his room,” Dal answered. She was much too tired to deal with this, but she had an idea as she entered through the door. Grabbing a book, she took the steps two at a time.
The sight of Carr’s face as Prea ran into his room was a shot to her heart. There was panic and anger on his little face that morphed into reluctant relief when he saw her.
“I’m here, cricket. Don’t worry, I’m here.” She pushed his hair out of his eyes and stroked his cheek. “Come here,” she instructed, sitting him down on his bed. Opening the book to the page she wanted, she placed the book in Carr’s hands. “Here. Read this out loud. Read it to me.”
Carr looked at her through tears, before turning his eyes to the words on the page. It was the book of old tales opened to the story of Aylin and Ciro. The whole book was a connection to their mother, especially for Carr who had few actual memories of her, but this story in particular made everyone in the family feel better. He stammered through the first sentences as Prea rubbed his back soothingly, but gained traction the more he read and by the time he finished the story, he was breathing easy.
“You weren’t here. I needed you and you weren’t here,” he said accusingly. “Where were you?”
Prea pulled Carr onto her lap and held him tight. “I’m so sorry. I was…It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to worry. I’ll be here; whenever you need me, I’ll be here.”
How could she be so selfish? Her grief and despair had her forgetting about her siblings, her responsibilities, the promise she had made. I’m so sorry, Mama, Papa. I promised you both I would take care of them. I promised. I won’t let you down, she proclaimed silently.
“What happened to your hands?” Carr asked sometime later, his head against his sister’s.
Prea pulled away looking at her hands as well. “I was angry with the earth,” she said sadly. It was the only reason she could summon. A ghost of a grin crossed her face when she heard Carr’s stomach rumbling. “How about we get you some food, cricket? Come, let’s see what Dal and Beda are up to.”
The two found her friends in the kitchen talking quietly, as they entered the room. “Go on,” Prea said, nudging Carr towards the table. She needed to confer with her friends.
Beda looked at her, concerned. “How are you, honey?”
She took a deep breath. “I’m fine at the moment. You two should go home. You have work and need to get back to your lives. We’ll be all right for now.”
Beda looked at Dal, then back to Prea. “Are you sure? We don’t have to leave.”
“No,” she assured them. “I have everything under control right now. And I need to deal with Alvie.”
Dal nodded. “All right. Just let us know if you need anything and we’ll be here.”
“I know,” she said hugging them each tightly for a minute. “Thank you both.”
As they left, Prea stood in the kitchen and felt numb. She couldn’t stand around and do nothing, however. Carr needed food and she had to check on Alvie. “Carr, are you hungry? Let me get you some food.”
“Yes, I’m starving.”
“Okay. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine. Shouldn’t Papa and Leal be home soon?” he wondered.
Prea’s head snapped up at his question and she turned to look at him. His golden curls were tangled, but his face was calm and untroubled. He was simply waiting for food. It was as if last night never happened.
“Cricket. Papa and Leal…their ship went down. They’re gone.” Prea moved over to the table, patting Carr on the back. “Papa and Leal are with Mama now.”
“No. That’s not true,” Carr exclaimed, his voice rising in anger. “They’re supposed to return any time now. You’ll see.”
She was dumbfounded and didn’t want to argue, so she finished the food and set a plate down in front of Carr. She outfitted another plate and took it upstairs. She hesitated outside Alvie’s room, unsure of what she would find behind the door. Prea raised her hand and knocked lightly a few times. She paused again, waiting for some response. Nothing. Prea knocked again and announced she was coming in. Her sister was lying in her bed, facing away from the door.
“Alvie, sweetheart, I brought you some food,” Prea said softly as she entered.
“I’m not hungry.”
“You need to eat something,” Prea persisted.
Alvie was silent. Prea put the food down on her bedside table and sat down on the edge of Alvie’s bed. She laid a hand on her sister’s arm and could now hear her crying quietly. “Sweetie.” Alvie pulled her arm away from Prea.
“Just leave me alone, Prea. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to talk. Papa’s gone and he’s never coming back,” Alvie yelled.
“Alvie…”
“He left us and got himself killed,” she screamed. “So just leave, Prea.”
Prea stood quickly, as if Alvie had slapped her across the face with the force of her anger. She left her sister crying in her room, the interaction leaving light tears rolling down her own cheeks.
She was in charge of two children who needed their parents and didn’t have them. Prea was all they had and she had no idea what she was going to do. One was in denial, one was angry and she was lost. She didn’t know what to do, but that didn’t matter now, did it? Prea couldn’t let her parents down; she had to stay strong. She had made promises to both of them and she always made good on her promises.
