Honoring Friends in Many Ways

One of the questions many of the people in the Friend Grief books have struggled to answer is, “How do I remember them?” We want to be sure that even for those who never met our friend, that they will somehow appreciate that they walked the earth.

The people I interviewed found many ways to do that:

One man helped start a foundation to cover costs related to medical treatment (hotel stays for family members, parking, supplies, etc.).
Two women started a nonprofit to help the homeless, continuing their friend’s work.
One kept a stack of holy cards in his desk, one for each coworker who died on 9/11.
One started an organization to help prevent deaths like his friend’s.
Some committed themselves to ending the epidemic that killed so many of their friends.
Other keep mementoes close by – pictures, jewelry, books, scarves – that belonged to or remind them of their friend.
Some of us got a little carried away, writing six books instead of the one we promised we’d write.

But always, the reason is the same: to make sure that friend is not forgotten.

Yesterday I received a note from one of the men I interviewed for my latest book, Friend Grief and Men: Defying Stereotypes. He wrote to tell me what he’d done with one of his best friend’s baseball caps. It was a small gesture, one that no one would notice, but his friend would’ve enjoyed.

That day – and for the few minutes it took him to write that note – they were together again. His friend was remembered. His friend was loved.

He found a way. Will you?

 

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