A cycle of waiting

Why not start out a post about waiting in a writing career with the hunkmaster of the movie Waiting? Granted, that movie has nothing to do with my post today because I don't work in a restaurant nor do I like to flash people, but I want some eye candy. So, ta-da!

Anywho, one of my biggest battles that will never cease is my epic fear of waiting. Every author gets paranoid when they wait--I get beyond paranoid. Every second is spent agonizing on yes or no, yes or no, and it's a battle of wills to get anything done. Even with the practical advice of working on something else while your waiting and yet, still, this worry is always in the back of my head.

Over the years I've managed to micro-mange it into a small box inside my head that I only drag out when I'm lost for a specific word in a sentence. But it's still there, my fear of waiting, my will they or won't they paranoia. Frankly, at this point, I think writer's need it to live. To fuel what we do. If I knew someone was going to accept every damn thing I gave then every time I don't know that I would work as hard or have half as much fun. Because the challenge and the constant reassurance that I rock are really good for my muse. Hell, acceptance is good for anyone's muse, it's why we submit in the first place.

So, I've stopped pushing away that little voice that freaks and shakes and quivers because it's been six days since my editor got back to me. Instead, I wallow. I roll around in that slimy, heart-clenching fear until I can't take it anymore. Then I remind myself that without the unknown there wouldn't be that blissful satisfaction I get at the beginning of every new contract. I've got to have some sense of challenge in order for the payoff to be so good I cry every time I get a new book deal. So what if it's all in my head? If it makes it that much more fun later, I'm gonna join the paranoid party and letting my inner nail biter out to play.

Waiting is the best writing aphrodisiac out there. Because will they or won't they makes the big "o" of putting your name on a piece of paper and shipping it out that much sweeter.