How do you do love triangles well? Like, when all three characters are supposed to be likable and sympathetic, but the mess of feelings causes drama/breakups/unrequited feelings/ETC.? Almost all love triangles get automatically labelled as "romantic plot t

We discussed this a bit in the mod chat today. The general consensus was that love triangles would only really work if the characters grew out of them. Kyo, Kim, and D all mentioned polyamory as a viable way to resolve a love triangle–and it’s an option that doesn’t get a lot of attention or love in popular media. 

I’m going to use Betty, Veronica, and Archie as examples of a static love triangle–they are probably one of the most well-known examples of a love triangle. Betty and Veronica both love Archie, and Archie loves both of them back. But Archie is unwilling to choose one girl over the other, and while Betty and Veronica have shown interest in different boys, they always seem to gravitate back to Archie–and they are constantly fighting each other for his affection.

Now think about how awkward this situation would be in real life. What are the odds that every member of the love triangle would be content to stay in such an awkward place for such a long period of time? Eventually, someone is going to make a decision. The ‘Archie’ will decide which suitor they prefer, or the ‘Betty’/’Veronica’ will get tired of waiting for a decision to be made and they’ll move on to someone else…or maybe they’ll decide they would all be happier if they just stayed together, and the feud is dropped. Regardless of what decision is reached, the love triangle is broken.

The characters of the classic Archie comics never change. Their personalities, their ages, their relationships–it’s all static. They have no agency over their lives, their goals, or their romances. They are completely static. And that’s the only way for a love triangle to never break. 

~Cori

An additional note - most love triangles are actually love Vs. If they were truly triangles, they’d be easier to resolve, because each person would have feelings for both of the other two. In a love V, which is what we usually see, there are two people who have feelings for the same person, who is then forced to choose between them by circumstances outside of their control. This situation ignores the possibility of non-monogamy or non-exclusivity in dating, which is a real life solution that works for lots of people just fine.

In a non-monogamous or non-exclusive situation, for example, A and B would be dating, and A and C would also be dating. Their relationships would have no overlap with each other and would be completely separate, except that A has to be careful with their scheduling and they all have to be good at communicating about things like safe sex practices and feelings. If C or B (or A!) wanted to date someone else, that would be okay as long as it was discussed openly with their current partner(s); if it’s not discussed and okayed ahead of time, that’s when it veers into cheating territory.

With that tangent aside, how do you write a good love V when it’s not really a triangle and you don’t want to veer into polyamory territory? Well, it has to feel plausible. When I read about a love V:

I want to know exactly what the hinge sees in each of the two love interests; likewise, I want to know what they see in the hinge! I want each of those two separate relationships - A and B, A and C - to feel real and to have a potential future, because otherwise there’s no need for A to really struggle or feel conflicted about giving one of them up.I want B and C to feel like realistically different people who provide different things for A and - this is important - I want them NOT to be opposites. The most boring thing you can do in a love V is set it up so that the two love interests are polar opposites. One is a “bad boy” and one is a “good boy” - boring! Boring, boring, boring! I’m not saying that they should be essentially the same character, but they should have some traits in common with each other, preferably traits that their hinge finds attractive.I want to see every single person involved communicating about their needs and wants openly and respectfully, and if they can’t do that, maybe they shouldn’t be dating or considering dating - I cannot tell you how often I cringe when I see two characters screaming at each other over a simple misunderstanding.I want to understand each character’s feelings on it when a decision is finally made that resolves the V; I want to know that it was painful but that everyone is going to probably be okay in the end.

Sound like a tall order? That’s because it is, which is why so many love Vs aren’t well-written and why they’re so often considered “romantic plot tumors” - a well-written love V can take up your entire story and consume the entire plot. They don’t make good subplots because they require so much attention to get right! However, I really believe that it can be done; you just have to be thoughtful about how you do it. Check out the TV Tropes entry for Love Triangle (and the subtropes!) for more information. I hope this helps - good luck!

-Kyo