The First Step To Building My Character
I am not going to candy coat this blog with euphemisms. Let’s just be honest with ourselves and call a spade a spade. A liar tells lies. A coward is too scared to do what is right. An egomaniac puts himself first.
When we use a euphemism to describe our behaviors, it is usually a tool to make us feel better about ourselves. I am not going to do that here. I will leave that to the politicians who say they “misremembered”.
My character is a work in progress. We all have work to do. But, what should I be working on and where should I start?
What Does Character Look Like?
Integrity, Courage, and Selflessness. These are great traits to pursue when I want to be a person of high character.
Some people may add other traits to the list. That’s fine with me. Even though we focus on six traits in our book Becoming a Leader of Character, I am going to focus briefly on our pursuit of Integrity, Courage and Selflessness.
So how are we doing with this pursuit? Do we talk a good game but justify our true behaviors with excuses and euphemisms?
The First Step Is Admitting I Have A Problem
I am a recovering liar, coward and egomaniac. I am not going to discuss an entire 12 Step Program. I am only going to focus on the first step of most 12 Step Programs.
First I will let Miriam Webster define the problem:
Webster defines lying as – marked by or containing falsehoods.
Webster defines cowardice as – a lack of courage.
Webster defines self-centeredness as – being concerned with only your own needs and interests.
Again, let’s eliminate the euphemisms. Read the list below. If I have used these words or done these things, I need to admit that I have a problem:
I am lying if I:
Tell White Lies: “I have a meeting then.”
Use Half-truths: “I told her most of the story.”
Tell a Fib: “I have to leave early to get the kids.”
Tend to Exaggerate: “I played a big role in our success.”
If my behavior is marked by or contains falsehoods I am lying and I am a liar!
I am displaying cowardice if I:
Avoid confronting a co-worker about her inappropriate behavior.
Stay silent because I am afraid of my boss’s response.
Allow a subordinate to intimidate others on my team.
Don’t admit my own failures and ask for forgiveness.
If my behaviors display a lack of courage, it is cowardice and I am a coward!
I am being self-centered if I:
Choose not to help someone because it is inconvenient to me at the moment.
Am concerned whether I will receive the credit I believe I am due.
Focus on my career advancement over what’s good for the team.
Speak over the top of others, cut them off, and/or dominate conversations.
If my behaviors display that I am only concerned with my own needs and interests, it is self-centeredness and I am an egomaniac!
www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
Take the test! It’s FREE and PRIVATE!
How Do You Answer These Questions?
1. If it is not the truth, then it must be a __________.
Answer: LIE
2. If it is not courage, then it must be _____________.
Answer: COWARDICE
3. If it is not selflessness, then it must be __________.
Answer: SELF-CENTEREDNESS
The Bottom Line:
Perfection is not attainable, but improvement is. However, I cannot begin to improve and grow until I admit that I have a problem.
The euphemisms and excuses we use to justify our behaviors prevent us from making the changes necessary to change our character for the better.
I believe our character is built upon our habits – our good habits and our bad habits. Most addicts will not stop their destructive behaviors until they come to the point where they admit to having a problem.
Once I admit I have a problem, it makes it easier to make the choice to change my behaviors. Every habit is formed one choice at a time. Each time I choose to start or stop doing something, it makes it easier to make that choice the next time.
Soon a new habit is formed. The question is, is it a positive habit or a negative one?
But, first I need to admit I have a problem.
Hi. My name is Dave Anderson.
I am a recovering liar, coward, and egomaniac.
Question:
If someone is not telling the truth, acting with courage or acting selflessly, what would you call it?
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