we give up our power because

We learned that we were pretty.

We learned that we were not pretty.

We starve to fit the skinny jeans.

We learned that skinny jeans = power.

We learned that being the hottest girl in the room = power

We learned that to please = power

And boys, especially boys

We learned what not to be:

too smart or ambitious or GOD FORBID competitive.

We learned to laugh when required and listen and applaud

We learned to disguise our boredom

We learned to stand on the sidelines

We learned that boys chasing us = power

We learned that being chosen = power

We learned that men are hunters and we should let them hunt us

(why else would they want us)

We learned that spending money on lipstick and shoes = power

We learned that men spending money on us = power

Because it means they love us

even when they don't.

We learned our role is to serve

And show gratitude and ask for nothing

Otherwise we're golddiggers

(and selfish)

We learned to make excellent coffee.

We learned that we're bad at math

and if we're good at math we're bad at personal finance

and if we're good at personal finance we should still let the man

Deal with the money, or act and talk like he does

So people won't think that he's pussywhipped

We learned not to talk about money or care about money

Otherwise we're golddiggers

(and selfish)

We learned not to learn about money because it's boring.

We learned to do housework and volunteer work and go into the arts.

We learned to wear pink uniforms.

We learned to be poor.

We learned that business is for businessmen

and if we go into business

We learned not to set our prices high

so people won't feel bad 'cause they can't afford us.

We learned not to push for first or value ourselves too highly

Otherwise we're conceited or deluded

(and selfish)

We learned to avoid confrontation

We learned that anger isn't ladylike

We learned that when we fight it's not tough and noble like when guys fight

It's just a catfight

If we do it in mud they charge admission.

We learned that we're supposed to be happy

Or strangers will tell us to smile

We learned to unplug from our pain and send it under

We learned to sneak and manipulate and cajole and charm and flatter

We learned to be the angel of the house

We learned to be the good wife

We learned our place.

Otherwise we were wrong, or wrong in the head

(And selfish)

We learned that if women were as smart as men

where are the great female physicists and chess players

We learned that our talents are second-rate

We learned that we're emotional, hormonal and crazy

We learned that our wombs are hysterical

We learned that our bodies belong to the public

And fathers + husbands + religions + governments

We learned to get off on getting them off

We learned to fake orgasms

And that sex isn't really sex if we just have it with each other.

We learned that we don't need feminism anymore

Because feminists hate men because they can't get any

we've come a long way baby and what's left to fight for

Except decent maternity leave

and a mate who doesn't expect us to do most of the housework

Because his paycheck is bigger

Because we learned to work part-time or quit for the babies.

We learned to be guilty.

We learned that working moms are bad moms and evil.

We learned that the hand that rocks the cradle rocks the world

although it doesn't.

We learned that we're doctors and judges and district attorneys now

on tv

and what's left to fight for but The Bachelor.

We learned that power is only sexy in a man

We learned that women with power are freaks with bad haircuts

And doomed to die alone

Unless they put up with philandering husbands.

We learned that landing a powerful man = power

Even though it's his and he takes it back at will.

We learned that somewhere out there was a prince who would save us

Even if he works all the time and is damaged or abusive

We learned that his work is important and worth sacrificing for and ours is not.

We learned that his time is valuable and ours is not.

We learned to play small and be small.

We learned that power hurts and we shouldn't want to want it.

We learned to fight for the rights of others.

We learned to fight for ourselves and almost win – then step back, turn away

in love with the so-called enemy

We learned not to be inconvenient.

We learned the old stories, the marriage narratives, the fairy tales

We learned that we still lack replacements.