Two Writers Rambling – What do you mean no more naughty words?

Two Writers Rambling – What do you mean no more naughty words?
like… ever?

So I stumbled upon a random thread on facebook asking friends and readers what was the one thing they didn’t like to read in erotica. It was a fun thread to read with a variety of answers. But the list was starting to get so long that as a writer, it was becoming worrisome. I started to make a list just so I would not what was left that a wrote could do. In fact, by the time I summed them all up, I realized it left very little for authors of erotica to actually use. **insert faint of heart reaction**

But, authors, the readers have spoken!! Here is the summation list of what not to use in erotica, because it grosses, (<< most commonly expressed word in the thread), them out according to ALL the comments given. Plus, commentary to make you laugh while your favorite words are stripped away one by one.

Erotica readers have united and from this day forth there shall be NO MORE….

— no dirty talking during sex words

— no raunchy description words

— no wet words

— no clinical sounding genital words

— no raw genital words

— no kink except BDSM is required (uhhhhhh….)

— no rimming (and there was a great whimpering that passed through the gay men of the world)

— no dirty sex (spoil sport)

— no sweaty sex (unless they’re not moving, sweat happens)

— no sex before a shower

— no morning breath sex (there’s a pillow for that)

— no going deep-deep (Ohhh come on!)

— self lubers are not tolerated, artificial lube must be applied to all orifices at all times

— no cream (again see no wet words, lmao)

— no purple prose

— sniffing or smelling (scriffing is apparently allowed since it wasn’t mentioned)

— no dripping, leaking, and getting wet (see ‘no wet words’)

— no ‘daddy’ calling (PAPA!)

— no dubious consent

— no pushing woman into things he knows she wants (that about kills every BDSM scene of pushing limits)

 

 

 

by the way, while as hysterical as this is to read, we writers are running out of words we can use… have pity on us. Now to continue

 

— no arousal fluids (that explains why we need mandatory lube, I suppose)

— no cum (well fuck, what’s the point of fucking then if we can’t have cum in fucking? Lol)

— no dirty dick play (ass to mouth or ass to vagina in case that went over our heads) (I have wash clothes.