omg what are the other houses at EAGLECREST

Why don’t I just sing you the song of the Sorting Hat

Oh say can you see EAGLESCREST,
Where FREEDOM is our song?
Just kidding, you’re not free at all.
I’ll say where you belong.

You might belong in Bluthyonce, 
where weirdo glamour rules.
They love sharp wit and fizzy drinks
And boys from other schools.

(And sometimes girls.)

Perhaps in Justitopia 
Your Self will be supported:
You’ll vegan be, and read Chomsky,
And protest being Sorted.

Or maybe up in Laxdisick,
clad in Nantucket Red,
You’ll tie a cardi round your neck
And crush beers on your head.

And last of all is Shrugstagram
Where all are like, “Whatever.”
There’s wifi and the beds are soft
And wakeup time is never.

At EAGLESCREST four houses stand,
But all of us are buddies,
Because this is AMERICA!!!!!,
And no one ever studies.