beggars-opera:Ok but seriously I need to give you the scoop on some of the ridiculousness that went...

beggars-opera:

Ok but seriously I need to give you the scoop on some of the ridiculousness that went down during Lexington and Concord because it was insane. These are just some of my favorites:

John Hancock and Samuel Adams are hiding out at Hancock’s cousin Lucy’s house in Lexington. When Paul Revere shows up to tell them to leave, William Munroe, a militiaman who was guarding the door, tells Revere to shut up and go away because everyone was asleep.
Hancock’s fiancee Dolly asks him to take her to Boston so that she can rescue her father. Hancock tells her that she isn’t allowed to go back there while the British are still occupying the city. She reminds him that they aren’t actually married yet so she can technically do whatever she wants without his permission.
Paul Revere and William Dawes meet a Concord doctor named Samuel Prescott, who just happens to be out at 1am because he had spent the day with his girlfriend and presumably got kicked out of her house. When a group of British soldiers chase them, Revere is captured, Dawes comically falls off his horse, and Prescott manages to get away with the alarm message to Concord. His getting the message across in time meant that there were enough soldiers in Concord to beat the British, meaning that his walk of shame basically caused us to win the battle.
Paul Revere tells the soldiers who captured him that there are hundreds or armed and angry country hicks converging on Lexington center who are prepared to slaughter the British; the soldiers get so scared they just let him and the other captives go and run away.
Elijah Sanderson, one of the Lexington militiamen, is sent out, unarmed, as a scout, and is captured. Luckily he is in the same group of captives as Revere and is also let go. After telling the Lexingtonians what is going on he is so exhausted that he sits down next to the fireplace in the tavern and falls asleep, only waking up when the drum starts beating. Once he gets outside he realizes that he had never actually gone home to get his gun and so has to hide in the tavern during the battle.
 Joseph Warren somehow sneaks out of Boston to join the fighting and almost get himself killed. At one point a bullet whizzes by so closely it knocks a bobby pin out of his wig.

After the battle at the North Bridge in Concord a man named Elias Brown, who was mentally disabled and did not really comprehend what was happening, starts wandering through the crowd selling hard cider to the soldiers on both sides and getting everyone drunk.
A British officer named Jeremy Lister was not assigned to the expedition, but had volunteered when another officer said he was sick and couldn’t go. He is shot at Meriam’s Corner and the bullet shatters his elbow, leaving his arm immobile for the rest of his life. After he recovers he is informed the other officer had been faking it to get out of work. 

A British soldier and an American soldier have a standoff in front of a well when they show up at the same time to get a drink. Both men pull out a gun and fire a shot; both of them die.
Samuel Whittemore, an 80 year old man from Menotomy, hides behind a wall and starts picking off British soldiers with dueling pistols. Eventually one of them manages to get through, shoot him in the face, and bayonet him several times. Some friends find him several minutes later still trying to reload his gun. They drag him home kicking and screaming, assuming that he will be dead soon. He lives to be 98.
A woman in Lexington, Mary Sanderson, hides in the woods with her family and then comes home to find a half-conscious British soldier lying in her bed. When her husband Samuel gets home he finds Mary raining obscenities upon the poor injured man. Samuel tells her that if they didn’t give him some food he will never have the energy to leave, but the soldier is so terrified of Mary he refuses to eat, only taking the food after making Samuel eat it to make sure it wasn’t poisoned.