Excerpt from Suave Man Blues

After a few months at the warehouse I was called into the office to talk to Scotty, the warehouse manager. I pulled from the flask to calm my nerves. Around that time I had been spending most my days on the loading dock, chain smoking as I waited for the next truck. I thought about quitting my job at least three times a week. What used to take me six hours to do now took me two days. I had lost all interest in my work, and the little enthusiasm I may have had before was completely gone.

“Have a seat,” said Scotty as I walked into the office. “Larry asked about you the other day. He remembered you from the Christmas party and wanted to know if you were still around. He said there was something about you he liked.

“Anyways, he said he wanted to see if you would last a few months. The company has been looking for a new night manager and Larry wants to hire within the company before we outsource. He wanted to offer you the management position. I told him I thought you were a hard worker, and we both agreed that you would be a good asset to the company.

“Now if you take the position there is the obvious pay raise, but you would also receive full benefits—health, dental, the whole nine. So, what do you say? We don’t usually make this type of offer to people who have only been here a short time, but as I said, you seem like you could be a real asset to this company.”

“No thanks, Scotty,” I told him. His jaw dropped.

“Now you do understand that this would allow you a more flexible schedule, you would be able to take paid 48 vacation days, and, again, your pay would increase significantly.”

“Yeah, but no. Thanks anyways,” I said as I shifted in my chair and rubbed the padded leather armrests. Nice chair, I thought. Maybe I could get one of these if I take the job. Or maybe I could just take this one home.

“Well how about you take some time to think it over. You can give me your decision tomorrow or Friday.”

“This is a nice chair,” I replied. “Can I have it?”

“If you take the job you could have as many of those chairs as you want.” Scotty tried to keep an encouraging tone.

“Can I have this one? Right now? I could use a chair like this at my place.”

“Well, if you decide to—”

“Listen, Scotty. I don’t wanna be a warehouse manager. Hell, I don’t want to advance in any of the shitty businesses I work for. It’s a fuckin’ warehouse, man. No offense to you, but I’m not gonna be doin’ this shit for the rest of my life. And all that boss stuff—it’s not for me. I’m not taking the job. I don’t need any time. I’m not gonna do it.”

Scotty had given me the spiel and his face said everything. He had expected me to take the position. He figured he would have good news to report back to the Head Man. He expected me to be enthusiastic and ready to start. “How ‘bout that raise though? I could go for that,” I said casually. Then I stood up and left.

Within a week, Carlson Import and Exports had found a reason to fire me. Many reasons, actually.

-Suave Man Blues, Pg.48-49