The Negativity That Limits Your Ability to Lead
Positivity or negativity? It boils down to making a choice. The attitudes we display go a long way in determining what type of leader we are and how many followers we have.
Do we choose our attitudes or do we let our circumstances or other people choose them for us? Do we choose to focus on others or on ourselves? Do we choose to look for solutions or look problems? Our attitudes have been and always will be a matter of choice.
My father once made the now famous comment to me, “Your attitude is a choice. Make a different choice.” That statement is famous because of the popularity of an old blog post titled Your Attitude is a Choice. (Click the title to read that post.)
The truth of that statement should affect the choices we all make when it comes to our attitudes. If anyone ever tells you they can not control their attitude – they have bought into a lie. People in difficult circumstances choose Positivity every day.
Hospice nurses who see nothing but suffering and death yet choose to be a light in everyone’s time of darkness.
Spouses who have a husband or wife deployed year after year, yet choose to cheerfully support the deployed spouse and run a household alone during those deployments.
Parents who lose a child unexpectedly, yet smile through their grieving and recovery and become an example for everyone around them.
Sometimes our circumstances are difficult. But, very few of the people I know who walk around with a negative attitude are dealing with something close to what I described above. Positivity or negativity? It boils down to making a choice.
The Results of Our Choices
Positivity and negativity are both habits. Each time we make the choice between them, it makes it easier to make that same choice again. Each time we whine about our circumstances, it becomes easier to do it the next time. Each time we focus on the problems in someone’s ideas, we are more likely to that again as well.
Pretty soon, as a result of regularly choosing negativity, we become a Joy Sucker. Wherever we go, whether we know it or not, people stop wanting to spend time with us. Why? Because we suck the joy out of their existence.
People who dwell in the world of pessimism rarely attract enthusiastic followers. They usually attract other joy suckers. If a leader is a gifted pessimist, he often spawns more pessimists but few followers.
A Leader of Character exercises Positivity even when things are difficult. That does not mean a Leader of Character lives in a fantasy world.
It just means he will see opportunities where others see road blocks. It means he will choose to encourage people who are struggling instead of adding to their misery. It means he will not let his feelings dictate his reactions to any situation – good or bad.
The Bottom Line:
Negativity is a habit that drives people away from us. If we choose negativity on a regular basis, we are choosing to be a person others wish to avoid. We limit our ability to lead if we are driving people away from us instead of drawing them towards us.
But it all boils down to a choice. The definition of Positivity my father, General James L. Anderson and I use in our book Becoming a Leader of Character is:
Displaying a positive and/or can-do attitude in all circumstances.
That type if attitude is a choice that becomes easier each time we make the choice. People who choose Positivity in the day to day challenges of life, will find it is easier to choose Positivity when our teams or our families need it most.
Unless we make Positivity a Habit of Character we consistently choose, we will likely be a lonely individual and an ineffective leader. We decide. Positivity or negativity?
Question:
What circumstances have you chosen to allow to affect your attitude?
If you want to privately examine where your own character can grow – where your strengths and weakness may be – take the My Mirror Character Assessment. It’s FREE! Just click on the link below and take 5 minutes to look at yourself in the mirror.
Click here: http:/mycharactertest.com
