Too Stupid To Live Tuesdays: The Launch!

So I need to get better about blogging regularly. Sure, I blog often, but I don't have regular topics. Hence, I'm starting one now. It's my Tuesday rant-a-thon where I read the New York Times, or listen to NPR, or take out my earbuds in Sturbucks and find dumb sh*t to laugh about publicly. Some folks say you should never go negative, but…meh, some folks say lots of things. And I've never been good at taking advice.

Without further ado, too stupid to live Tuesday!!

1. Mitt Romney

I don't see Americans voting in a Mormon president. I could be wrong about this, but…I don't think I am. The PR's everywhere– both for Mitt and for Mormons in general. (There was a huge "We are Mormon" billboard in Times Square last week.) While I know and like several Mormons personally, there's one truth here that everyone's ignoring…

People HATE when you knock and their door and try to get them to do things, like say, convert to your religion. I know this because I used to do phone surveys where I'd cold-call people. Folks despise that shit. No one who ever received a call from me would consider electing me president.

2. The Green Lantern

WTF is that movie about? No effin' way would I spend $7 for the chance to see Ryan Reynolds take off his shirt. I've *heard* there are plenty of shirtless pics of la Reynolds floating around the interwebz. No need to see him nekkid with green backlighting.

Homoerotic…but not in a good way.

3. TSA

I don't even know where to start. Does it seem to everyone else like TSA is trying to stop people from traveling? The experience of air travel has become more and more humiliating so that I imagine some time in the near future people are going to give up altogether. Probably for the best considering how much fuel planes consume.

I've had two enhanced pat-downs in the past year, both times because I was stupid enough to wear overalls. Neither time was as sexy as I'd hoped.

4. Gold-Plated Chain-Link Fences

So I heard about the existence of gold-plated chain-link the other day. I can't tell whether it's too-stupid-to-live or too-awesome-to-be-believed. Clearly, this product is aimed at rappers and drug lords, but is it weird that I totally want one? Unfortunately, in my neighborhood you'd be begging to be robbed if you put one of these fences up.

Though, if we lived in a slightly more downmarket neighborhood, we might be able to pull it off. Because then passersby would assume we were packing semi-automatics and skeery rottweilers. Hmmm…maybe I'll ask Santa…

And for #5, I list a Too-Awesome-To-Live Article in New York Times Magazine.

This op-ed acknowledges the benefits and drawbacks of strict monogamy in marriage, in light of the recent Wiener scandal. And it quotes Dan Savage, one of my favorite people of all time.*

The font is the best thing about this cover.

Having been born in 1973, I'm from a more promiscuous time. One of the bestselling books the month I was born was Open Marriage. And wow, have things swung the other way since then! But this article gave me hope that people will open up a more frank discussion of the challenges of monogamy. Personally, I'm crazy monogamous and probably wouldn't take a lover even if my husband didn't mind. But I'm thrilled that folks might think more broadly about adult sexuality within the confines of marriage.

Go read. It's awesome. And a lot less stupid than most things.

*I wanna be Dan Savage when I grow up.