Why My Marriage Ended and How Life Fell Apart
This is going to be a very hard article to write and release publicly but I know it is necessary. There have been a ton of rumors about me in the last two months. It’s time to tell my side of what happened. I have always kept it real over these last five years and that is what I will do here.
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2015 was a breakthrough year in my business. Because I wrote for some of the largest websites in the world, I started getting a crazy amount of offers to speak at conferences and companies all over the world. I traveled over 250,000 miles in 2015 to speak. My business grew by 125% very quickly. It should have been exciting, but it was all too fast, and it burnt me out.
As I started to travel more to speak, the distance affected my marriage. I had spent 16 years always being with the same person, having to spend extended times away brought out jealousy, anger, frustration, temptation, money struggles, lying, and MANY fights. Over a three-year period, I watched my marriage crumble and I was too proud to do anything about it.
By the time I went back to Hawaii in early January of this year (2016), the marriage was over. It was very awkward and there was a realization on both sides that what we once had was now over. It would have been nice if things had ended civilly, but they didn’t. If you follow me online, you have seen a variety of attacks on all the publications I write for, on this blog (it was even hacked), and in every part of my business. My coaching clients were contacted and lies were spread, the publications were contacted, and there were a bunch of lies on social media.
In mid-January, I went back to Panama to train at a company. As I left, we agreed that the marriage was over and that each of us would try to move on and put all our focus on the kids. I went to Panama to train for a month. I did not expect to do anything but work. During the third week of training, I met someone. I went out for dinner with friends at the company and I was introduced to what I thought was a nice woman.
We started a friendship that grew into a relationship by late February. I want to make something very clear, we did NOT have sex. I did NOT leave my wife for this woman. There was NO overlap. Yes, the timing is too close for comfort (more on that in a bit), but it was AFTER my marriage was over—after both of us agreed it was over. I was in a relationship with this woman for five months. The relationship is now over and sadly, it ended very badly.
I want to explain something. Ever since I was 15 years old, I have been in relationships—I have NEVER had any time being single. When my marriage ended, I was looking for what I was very used to experiencing. I wanted that feeling of being with someone long term. I wanted that comfort. I jumped into a very unhealthy relationship right away. WAY too soon for where I was at emotionally.
That relationship is what caused me to be depressed and in a funk for two months. I thought I was madly in love with this woman and she took advantage of that. Let’s just say my wallet is a lot lighter now. The woman even beat me up after I ended the relationship-like literally punched and choked me. I made MANY stupid decisions in the name of love. I wish I could go back and do things over, but that is not a reality.
As of today, I am single, living in Medellin, Colombia. My kids are in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and I plan to spend a lot of time there. I miss my kids more than anything in this world. I stay here in Medellin because I have a consulting contract with a company here and the cost of living is VERY low. I like life here. It is a good place for me to heal and learn how to love myself again.
The Rumors
Let me address the rumors. NO. I did not leave my family penniless in Hawaii. I was the one that was penniless because of a deceitful woman. I had to trick my wife out of money just to survive.
I did not leave my wife for another woman. The relationship started after the marriage was over. NO. I did not get married. Check the web, call the embassies, and check far and wide. I am not married to anyone outside of the marriage you know about and I have written about. We are currently going through a nasty divorce.
At this point, I am recovering from everything. I am trying to rebuild everything I let fall apart when I was so focused on an unhealthy relationship. I am focused on my kids, my clients, and anyone who reads my stuff. I still have a goal to change this world for the better.
I am sure there are many questions. I try to keep it real. Ask questions in the comments and I will answer honestly. If there are any of my ex’s people trying to derail the conversation, I will delete them from my blog.
Yes, I am still qualified to help you despite a failed marriage and some VERY stupid decisions. I still know and understand the tactical side of all of this. I also have a new perspective on relationships. A lot more to come on that in future posts.
Questions?
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Photo: Flickr/ Lucia Castillo
