BP Magazine Blog: Dysphoric Mania. I've got to get out of here! I hate my life!

Here is my latest blog from BP Magazine:

The BP Magazine Blog is great!

 

If you're new to bipolar disorder lingo- there are two kinds of mania: Euphoric (we all love it when it first starts!) and the dreaded dysphoric mania, also known as agitated mania.

I'm what's known as an ultradian rapid cycler. I rarely go more than a few days without a mood swing and sometimes have four or five mood swings a day. It's unpleasant.

But I've never had a lot of dysporic mania which is probably why I missed this off and on six week episode.

For weeks I said I was unhappy, miserable, bored, worn out and sick of my work. I kept saying, "I just want to get out of here. I want to leave Portland. I've got to get on a plane and leave this awful life!" My therapist said, "I've never seen you this bad Julie. You're negative about everything. This isn't you!" I said, "Yes, it is. You don't understand. I've got to get out of here!"

A week ago I woke up and felt truly stable.  I simply got out of bed and did my thing without a struggle and that's when it hit me.

It was dysphoric mania – sneaky and deadly.

I'm glad it's over. And I'm glad I didn't get on a plane like I have so many times in the past.

Julie

PS: The comments on this blog were amazing. Here is a link to check them out:

PSS: I love this magazine. I believe that everyone with the illnes and all who care about someone with bipolar disorder can get a lot of great info just in one magazine!  You can get a subscription from the website.

In fact. I will give away a subscription right now! For the first person who goes to the link above and leaves a comment on the post- let me know and I'll send you a yearly subscription to BP Magazine!  (You can come back to this blog and leave a comment with your name and that  you want to win the contest!)

It's now 11:00 PST on Monday July 4th.

Related posts:BP Magazine Blog is posted!
Bipolar Disorder Agitated Mania/Dysphoric Mania
Bipolar Disorder Dysphoric Mania: Just work through it Julie!