Me Time

Life with Stacy is complicated at best.  I’m a minefield of contradictions and fabulous bewilderment.  Just ask my long suffering husband and I’m sure he will tell you how confusingly awesome I am (he’s learned to just smile and nod his way through after 23 years).

The only time I get a little on the bad side of good is when I don’t get some alone time.

To be honest,  the idea of living with someone is alien to me.  Growing up I spent most of my time locked in my room.  No the lock wasn’t on the outside!  This wasn’t some draconian punishment by my parents I just didn’t want anyone to come in.  I like being alone.  If Websters understood the true definition of the word loner there would just be a photo of me next to the word.

I like being alone and I want to be alone.

Then I got married and he wanted to live with me (yeah, I’m still a little fuzzy on how I let this happen).  So we bought a house with an extra room so I could still have a space to myself.  I even call it “My Room.”  He learned to give me time so I will function as normally as I can.

The we had a kid.  More of my time that I would spend alone got eaten away.  So I had to carve out my me time from lunch hours at work and after she’s gone to be.  A lot less time but still some.  I can still function.

The other day when I got home I spent the whole evening with my grouch on.  The husband was confused and rightfully upset.  Why was I in such a bad mood?

At work I’d been training some new and had been with them all day including my precious lunch.  This had gone on for two days straight.  I had not been alone.

Though I’ve always known I was a longer I didn’t realize that I have no capacity to function as a civil human being without some time alone.

I finally had to go to my room for an hour to be alone with my thoughts.  It helped.  Now I know “me time” is not a luxury. It’s a necessity.

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