Top 5 Things Writers Are Tired of Hearing

From time to time, us writers receive some comments that drive us insane. Being the good actors we are—we are creative, after all—we put a smile on and tell everyone that we will consider their ideas. If you’re a writer, or perhaps just a curious reader, check out the following five things writers are tired of hearing. And pass on this little writer humor if you find it to be true!

WARNING: I will most likely ramble angrily in this blog.

I have some fantastic true stories you should write about.

Me writing my novel

You wouldn’t believe how many times people who love to gossip came to me with stories they wanted me to write about. I had to stop and wonder whose stories I was hearing. Their next door neighbors’ perhaps? All I know is that I definitely don’t want to write and publish those stories and ruin the lives of innocent people.

Why don’t you write a film script?

If I listened to everyone who told me to write something, I would never get anything done. Some people have told me to write children’s books, others insisted that I write a film script, and then a few who thought it would be a good idea to write a soap opera. However, when people who aren’t writers assert that they know what’s best for me to write about, I immediately put up a shield of defense, and I bet other writers do too. One, I will write whatever my heart desires. Two, I didn’t get a BA in Creative Writing so that others tell me how to do my job. Three, thanks for the advice, but I don’t write trash (no soap operas for me).

I can probably write a book if it weren’t for my busy career.

It’s nice to hear how you love writing. Though, since you haven’t actually done any writing in your life, I feel a little insulted. Are you implying that writing is an easy job that you could do without years of practice? Because, let me tell you, it’s not easy. I often sit and write for hours only to produce a single page, and I’ve been writing for a decade. So stick with your busy career and I’ll stick with mine, because I don’t think either one of us would do good if we swapped places.

You should write a story about my life; it’ll be a bestseller.

If you’re so enthusiastic about your life, why don’t you write about it and see how it turns out? I really doubt that moment you ran into your childhood enemy at the supermarket and told her to stick it where the sun don’t shine is going to make a good story. And evidently, I’m not interested in your life enough to write about it.

You know what would make you sell more books? Write something like this novel. *Insert Fifty Shades of Grey.*

Thanks, once again, for the advice. But, like I said in my second point above, I don’t write trash. If I really wanted to, I’d just put random words together and call it a day. But, being the professional that I am, I actually work really hard to make each and every scene I write the best it can be. Plus, you don’t even like reading; you just happened to read one dirty book because you’re a shallow being who only reads something if it’s trending among billions of screaming women going “OMG” on social media. So you are clearly the wrong person to tell me what to write about. Thanks, but no thanks. I will not tailor my writing to your lifestyle.

 

Well, that’s the end of my writer humor and ramble. If you’re a writer, do people say similar things to you? Let me know in the comments!

Looking for something new to read? Check out the free preview of my book Dance with the Devil right here: