Perspective

I have been at my current job for over 6 years and people have often commented on my positive attitude and the fact that I’m often smiling. I end up with nicknames like smiley, sunshine, and bubbles. One person recently looked at me and told me I must be on some kind of drugs because no one is that happy at work. What she fails to realize is that happiness is a choice and it’s all about perspective.  Prior ending up in my current career, I spent some time working as a 911 dispatcher. This experience changed my life completely.
Imagine working in a room so dark you don't know who is sitting beside you, illuminated by four computer screens in front of you, two more to your right and a phone system that looks like it could help land an airplane. Others sit nearby talking in calm voices, where you hear tidbits of one-sided conversations such as, "where is the gun now?" or "how many times have you tried to kill yourself before?"
A call comes in. A young boy in a terrified voice says, I think my parents just killed each other.
This was my typical day as a 911 dispatcher. Fresh out of college with a criminal justice degree I was idealistic. I was in the hiring process for six months, which is considered a short amount of time. 90% of applicants don’t make it through the process, which included a group interview, psychological evaluation, physical, and a polygraph.  I was in the 10 percent that get hired and I was determined to change the world and make difference. And for a while, I did. I learned 250 codes and signals. I aced the tests and, in a short time, I was beginning to handle the toughest calls without assistance.  But making a difference came at a cost. Over time, the amount of pressure to learn everything quickly began to take its toll. I would get up at 3 or 4 am one week and then get home around 1 or 2 am the next week. Despite this erratic schedule, I no longer felt tired. I have no idea what I was eating, because I wasn’t hungry either.   For weeks at a time, I had very little contact with any family or friends, because my schedule was so unpredictable and often, I was only off of work when they were sleeping. I made friends in the training classes who were going through the same things I was, and that made it somewhat bearable.  I told myself that this was all worth it. After all, this is what I wanted to do. I majored in Criminal Justice to change the world. I couldn’t quit now. I was at the top of my training class. One week I took over 20 calls from suicidal people. I was an expert on talking people down and distracting them until help arrived. I didn’t take into consideration the toll that this job was truly putting on me.  During my last training class, we listened to some recorded calls. One included a dispatcher who couldn’t understand the accent of the screaming woman on the other line. The response was delayed. I knew it wasn’t the dispatcher’s fault but I never considered how I would feel if my lack of understanding or comprehension of what was being said delayed a response.  After hearing that call, I knew in that moment, that despite all of the training, preparation, and time I had put in, that this was not the job for me.
The day that I quit, I drove home with a smile on my face. I had no plan, no job to fall back on, and my family thought I was crazy for giving up my first "real job”.
The reality was, instead of changing the world, the world changed me. The lessons I learned as a dispatcher were invaluable. I learned that things can always, always be worse. The stresses we typically experience in our day-to-day lives are minor. The reality is, our days are numbered and they are precious, so I choose happiness and I challenge you to do the same! :)