Ratbaggery and contests

 

IT HAS BEEN A TOTAL HOWLING RATBAG OF A DAY.  TOTAL.  HOWLING.  RATBAG.*  And I don't think there's even any of it I can tell you without Pollyanna nailing me to the wall.**

            It's also been frantic.  I didn't get to bed till broad daylight, ugh.  Granted daylight begins at a disgracefully early hour this time of year*** but I prefer to go to bed in the dark.†  One of the things that has gone wrong with the last twenty-four hours is that the hellhounds stopped eating last night.  Just.  Stopped.  The way they do.  Sometimes—no, usually—they give me some warning, and I feverishly cut back on what I feed them, because if they stop it's like if your car stalls in the middle of the ford:  once the water gets up your tailpipe you're frelled.  You have to keep moving.  But I had zero advance notice this time.  So one of the reasons I was up till 5 is that my arsenal of keeping-hellhounds-eating ploys takes some time to run through.  To no avail on this occasion, however, so I went to bed CRANKY as well as heavy with the moral turpitude of retiring at such an hour, which does not make for restful sleep.  Aside from the frelling dawn chorus.

            And then . . . 

BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHCENSOREDBYPOLLYANNABLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH

BLAHBLAHBLAHCENSOREDBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH

BLAHBLAHBYBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHPOLLYANNA†††BLAHBLAHBLAH

BLAHBLAHPOLLYANNABLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH

YOUHUMOURLESSCOWBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH 

. . . but the hellhounds ATE DINNER so my life is not utterly a ruin‡.  Okay, wait a minute, there has to be something I can tell you.  Oh:  about the frantic:  I didn't get up till about six hours after I went to bed and I had a funeral to ring at 1:15.  And a piano lesson at 3.  And sacred home tower bell practise at 7:30.  And frelling bloody-minded hellhounds to hurtle.  Bell practise, in keeping with the spirit of the day‡‡, was noteworthy for my having spent a certain amount of time making sure I had learnt what happens when there are calls made during Little Bob Minor‡‡‡ because I had been so foolhardy as to tell Niall yesterday that I'd quite like to try a touch of it . . . and then not getting a chance to ring it because we were heaving so we rang triples and major all night.  Which is fine, except when you go prepped to ring a new minor method. 

 * * *

HOWEVER.  We are on for the SILLY CLOTHING YOU WOULD WEAR TO MY SIGNING IN LONDON NEXT THURSDAY IF YOU WERE HERE CONTEST.  It starts tomorrow, so have your fringes and spandex ready.  I will remind you of all this again tomorrow when the official thread goes up, but to give you a run at it, there will be a thread in the forum where you can post either links to photos or the photos themselves so long as the files are no larger than 100K.  Permit me to say that again:  MAXIMUM PHOTO FILE SIZE IS 100K.  ONE HUNDRED K.  ARE YOU LISTENING?  You can also post photo links to tomorrow night's Facebook copy of tomorrow night's blog.  And I haven't quite decided what we're doing on Twitter:  there may be a hashtag for links.  I'll let you know tomorrow.  But you'll be able to post photo links on Twitter as well.  The only place you'll be able to post photos themselves (WITH A MAXIMUM SIZE OF 100K§) is on the blog forum—but joining the forum is really easy if you haven't yet and we loooove new members.

            Tomorrow I will also post a photo of . . . the increasingly notorious black leather mini.§§  Yes.  I found it.  Yes.  It's viable.§§§  But all of you:  please remember this will be a random drawing.  There is no minimum level of fabulousness/absurdity that must be attained.   It's just a bit of hellgoddess foolishness.#  And those of you saying dubiously that you don't think you still fit into the lurid duds of yesteryear:  remember you only need a photo.  You don't have to fit in all the way around in three dimensions.##  

NOR SHOULD YOU FORGET THAT THE CROSSWORD CONTEST IS STILL GOING.  http://robinmckinleysblog.com/2011/06/25/twelve-days-and-counting-guest-post-by-ajlr/  You have two sublime and glorious chances to win a signed copy of the new UK edition of PEGASUS.  What are you waiting for? 

* * *

* I've got Beverly Sills singing LA TRAVIATA on the CD player.  #1 comfort music.

** Or being threatened with a lawsuit for defamation of character.  Several lawsuits.  For several defamations of character.  No jury would convict me. 

*** Why can't we strip out daylight at 4 and 5 am this time of year and baste it back in again in December and January 4 and 5 pm?   The farmers are probably going to disagree with me but I do not feel that daylight is necessary before 5 am.  

† Phineas was away overnight and asked me to feed the hellcat breakfast.  Breakfast, I thought, gah.  Usually when I feed him breakfast he just gets it a little late.  Today I put my dressing-gown back on and fed him at 5 am.  He was delighted. 

†† But I get a lot of knitting done on bad-eating nights.  This is okay when it does end with them eating.  On the nights that it doesn't even knitting beautiful, perfect squares^ does not comfort me. 

^ Comparatively beautiful, perfect squares. 

††† Leggo! Ow!   

‡ Till the next time. 

‡‡ Is Mercury retrograde or anything?   Or possibly Callisto has come unstuck from her moorings and is on a collision course with Patagonia?  

‡‡‡ Which is enough like Plain Bob Minor which is the basic minor method that chiefly what learning Little Bob is going to do is mess up my Plain Bob.  

§ Have we had trouble with people posting gigantic photo files?  Why, whatever would make you ask that? 

§§ No, not with me in it.  You'll have to wait for Thursday.  

§§§ Drat. 

# Although as you should know by now I would be quite capable of throwing in an extra prize for an entry that makes me laugh till I cry.  Just in case you're wondering whether it's worth pushing the rhinestone-encrusted boat out. 

## You can also merely arrange said clothing artfully on a bed or floor and take a picture of it that way.  But one of the rules is that if it's a photo of you in the clothing you get two chances in the drawing.  If it's only the clothing, you get just one chance.  So put it on.  The zipper doesn't have to close.