The stupidest simile in the whole wide world

Without question, the stupidest metaphor simile in the history of metaphors similes is drunk as a skunk. 

It is a metaphor simile not based upon meaning but simply upon rhyme. 

Skunks have absolutely nothing to do with alcohol consumption or inebriation.

Skunk and drunk rhyme.  That is the extent of the metaphor simile.

That makes it incredibly stupid.

As stupid as:

Big as a twig

As sad as glad

As nice as an improvised explosive device

Except these aren't universally utilized metaphors similes. 

Drunk as a skunk is.

Please help me put an end to it.

And please forgive my initial stupidity.