FBI Training Film Script – Lycanthropes and You Pt 2: How Not to Get Eaten

Agent A enters kitchen and hears growl. AA spins to look at kitchen island bar just as a wolf jumps onto the counter. AA crouches, and raises his hands.

AA: (Sounds scared) N-nice doggie.

The wolf leaps and begins mauling AA.

AA: Aaieee!

Agent B walks into foreground while the attack is ongoing. Agent B clasps his hands behind his back, looking appropriately grim.

AB: This, (gestures back) is a classic rookie mistake.

AA: Ow! Fucking shoot it! Gah!

AB: First of all, the agent entered the room unarmed.

AA: Aaaargh!

AB: (wags finger) Never enter a room without drawing your sidearm first.

AA: So where's–gah! Your–yah! Gun, assho–oooh, Christ that stung!

AB: But, he also attempted to reason with an enraged lycanthrope.

AA: You're monologuing my death scene? You dir-huuuurrrr!

AB: Had the agent at least drawn his weapon–

AA: I'd bust a cap in your monologuing–!

(Scene ends)