Trust30 – #21 – Integrity
Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The question for this post had something to do with reaching out to someone and connecting with them. And I'm sorry, but that's not what I want to talk about. Besides, I've already done that fairly recently.
What I do want to talk about is integrity – Being Yourself no matter the circumstances, no matter the pressure, no matter the Resistance.
It's the old joke from Buckaroo Banzai – no matter where you go, there you are. It's the one thing you can never take a vacation from (unless you're Arnold Schwarzenegger, and even then not really. Did you know Jerry Goldsmith totally believes that the end of that movie is Arnold having a psychotic embolism and never waking up? I know!).
But it's Friday, and I'm frankly in too good a mood to really go crazy ranting (Goldsmith's obvious delusion aside), so – let me clarify my thinking on a couple of things.
Thing #1 – You decide who you are. Now, who I decide I am is naturally going to be different from who you decide you are. And there is such a thing as natural inclinations, natural strengths, preferences, personality differences, inherent talents, etc. I am not a believer that babies are blank slates. Queso started showing personality traits VERY early on. And I've been around enough babies to know that babies are different. What do we ascribe that to? Doesn't matter. That they are different is enough, and that we are different is enough, and so my decision as to who I am and will be will not and should not exactly mirror who you are. It should and probably will reflect your natural talents, strengths, and preferences anyway, so don't worry too much about it. Just retain enough critical thinking and self-awareness to judge if things are working or not.
Thing #2 – You can change your mind. If you decide you're going to be a certain kind of person, and it's not working out? As Arbiter Of All Things Anime (seriously. Apparently someone on twitter said I was, and I am SO OWNING THAT), you are Hereby Formally Granted Permission To Change Your Mind. Law School wasn't really on my list of priorities, and everyone thought it would be a good idea, so I took the test, and what do you know? I actually enjoyed it! Changing your mind doesn't mean that you've lost your integrity.
Thing #3 – You are allowed to make mistakes. Integrity doesn't mean never screwing up. We're human, and the human condition is one of sorrow, tragedy, loss, and screwing-things-up-ness. Of course, there's also wonder, love, joy, redemption, and a whole host of other things that are absolutely brilliant. Integrity is an aspirational virtue – an asymptotic line we may never cross completely (at least not in this existence), but it's one we should be constantly striving towards. People may see someone who espouses a course of action but does not successfully follow it as a hypocrite. If they're not even trying to walk the talk, then yeah. Sure. That's probably appropriate. But if they are trying to walk the path, then they are no hypocrite. They are human. As are we all.
Thing #4 – You are in charge. You determine what goes on in your head. You don't like it? Change the channel. Focus on something else. Sometimes people may have something physically or chemically going on, and if that's happening to you, do something about it. But most people have the ability to change the channel. Music can help with that. It's one of the reasons I walk around with the iPod and I always have a little Junior Brown handy in case I need to hear "You're Wanted By The Police And My Wife Thinks You're Dead". Seriously. Try to listen to that song and not have a smile on your face at the end of it. Oh, sure, some people prefer "Highway Patrol" or "Venom Wearin' Denim", but as far as I'm concerned, nothing beats the mood-turning power of YWBTPAMWTYD. Po-leece.
Thing #4 – So, what is integrity? Not intentionally or knowingly misleading others (or yourself). Can a man be a fool and still have integrity? Is he a willing fool? Is he taking the time to do some research, to examine his thoughts and positions? To try and test his unspoken assumptions about the way the world works? Maybe someone is well meaning and just wrong. I'm not comfortable saying that person is a liar. They were just mistaken. (Incidentally, that's what I usually fall back on when people I know castigate their political enemies on either side. You really think that person is evil? You're not willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that they just see the world differently, have differing starting premises? Really? I've done that plenty of times for people who attack Democrats as well as those who attack Republicans, as I consider myself neither.)
And that's probably heady enough for a Friday afternoon. Remember. It's pronounced Po-leece.
