Ask General Kang: Miss Manners says it has to be 97 degrees out before I don't have to wear nylons. What do you think?

I think you should tell me what that is in Celsius. 35? 36?

Never mind, it doesn't matter, because that Miss Manners is a complete bitch. How DARE she tell you what to do? I'm only offering helpful advice, but she has decrees. Well, I think you should wear whatever you want. It's still a free country, right?

Of course, I'm not sure how long it will be a free country, particularly once I've got my new Cyber-Simian Strike Force up to fluff.

You know I would never tell you what to wear. I think these sartorial decisions are the thing that make us different from the lower animals. (You know, non-primates.) That said, I do require the blue evil flying monkeys in my Air Force to wear their cute little silver helmets, for their own safety, of course.

So, I can wear white after Labor Day too?

Only if you want to look like a Russian hooker.

Alltop prefers looking like a prostitute from Belarus. Originally published in August, 2005. Seriously, check out the post number.