Wherein I escape from Tumblr

So I've been offered a spot as a weekly columnist for CaglePost, which is partnered with MSNBC. I took it.

Apparently, if you bang on the cell wall long enough the screws will come by and let you out. Who'd have thought?

Anyway, I used Tumblr like the whore she is and now I'm going to discard her in an alley next to a dumpster. Goodbye.

Just kidding! I love Tumblr. She's the prostitute with the heart of gold, re: Pretty Woman, but actually cute (Julia Roberts never did it for me).

So I have a deadline now. Holy fucking shit. I haven't had a deadline on anything since college: PAPER DUE BY THURSDAY!

This means I have to write. I will have to say shit like, "I can't. I have to write." The world will have fun. It will make merry. Me? I will be hunched over a notebook in a poorly lit room with a Bud Light and a pencil trying to think of something, anything to SAY.

And you will hear it, too, when I say it, because you were the best fuck I ever had and well worth the price.

I love you, baby. Here's a little something extra. Go out and get yourself some fishnets for next time, k?