Trust30 – #17 – Fear
Greatness appeals to the future. If I can be firm enough to-day to do right, and scorn eyes, I must have done so much right before as to defend me now. Be it how it will, do right now. Always scorn appearances, and you always may. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Huh. The question for this post is practically a blog post in itself: Trusting intuition and making decisions based on it is the most important activity of the creative artist and entrepreneur. If you are facing (and fearing) a difficult life decision, ask yourself these three questions:
1) "What are the costs of inaction?" I find it can be helpful to fight fear with fear. Fears of acting are easily and immediately articulated by our "lizard brains" (thanks Seth) e.g. what if I fail? what if I look stupid? If you systematically and clearly list the main costs of inaction, they will generally overshadow your immediate fears.
2) "What kind of person do I want to be?" I've found this question to be extremely useful. I admire people who act bravely and decisively. I know the only way to join their ranks is to face decisions that scare me. By seeing my actions as a path to becoming something I admire, I am more likely to act and make the tough calls.
3) "In the event of failure, could I generate an alterative positive outcome?" Imagine yourself failing to an extreme. What could you learn or do in that situation to make it a positive experience? We are generally so committed to the results we seek at the outset of a task or project that we forget about all the incredible value and experience that comes from engaging the world proactively, learning, and improving our circumstances as we go along.
(Author: Dan Andrews)
What can I add to this? The questions are awesome, and identifying what's holding you back is invaluable. Are you worried that you're going to suck? Don't worry about it. Everyone sucks. At first. Worried that you'll expose yourself as a fraud? Some of the best writers I know seem to suffer from that fear. What's causing your inactivity? What are the benefits to you NOT going for it? People don't ask themselves this, and I think it's in part because they don't want to admit to themselves that there are benefits to inaction. Which there have to be. If you're NOT doing something that you apparently have every reason to do, trust me when I say that there's a reason you're NOT doing it. Identify the reason, and then take a real hard look. Is it worth it? What are my costs of inaction? Is it lost revenue? Lost opportunity? A loss of self-respect? (All of the above.)
What kind of person do I want to be? Remember a few days ago when I talked about not finding yourself, but defining yourself? Here's that issue again. (I want to be someone who pushes past their fear in faith and hope – which is a form of courage.)
And last, what does failure do? It tells you what doesn't work. It lets you know what your limits are, where the boundaries are. And then you have an opportunity to accept them or to push them. Along the way, you get stronger, you gain skills and experience, and that can be invaluable. You learn more from your failures than from your successes, so in at least one sense, your failures are more valuable to you than your successes.
I'm managing editor of a little magazine called FlagShip. To date, it has not been what I would consider a financial success. But I learn about story, I learn about publishing. I learn how to push myself to get things turned around. I learn to face my fears and to push past things I don't really want to do (slush reading / critique writing, mostly). I learn about editing and managing a team of creative people, and so in one sense, it's been a fantastic success. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. Having said that, I'm still looking for ways to make this succeed in a financial sense.
In what other areas are you (am I) holding back because of fear?
